Red/Minsung

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"Because if my own parents can't even love me how the hell would anyone else?"

They once again both fell silent. This time Jisung was the one to didn't mean to blurt out what he said but it seemed they both had some things and thoughts that were becoming overwhelming.

Minho noticed that Jisung was about to stand up, he assumed he was going to try to leave then pretend like he had never said what he just did the next day at school.

Minho carefully grabbed Jisung's wrist that he knew didn't have any cuts to prevent Jisung from leaving, "please don't run away again."

Jisung started crying, not because Minho wasn't letting him leave because he easily could have gotten up this time if he wanted to but he was still mad at himself for suddenly saying that. Especially after Minho had just confessed to him which he still didn't believe at all.

"Last time i was here I went home when my parents had friends over and they got really mad at me." Jisung explained after a while once he had mostly stopped crying.

"Why would they get mad at you?" Minho asked quietly as he played with Jisung's hair who was now laying on his chest.

Neither of them even remembered how they had ended up in this position but both of them were too lazy (by Woosung) to move. not that they wanted to anyway. Jisung was comfortable and Minho was just glad that he was safe.

"Because I'm embarrassing and they never told any of their work friends that they had a kid so they had to explain since I showed up at the house."

"What do you usually do when they have friends over?"

"Stay in my room."

"What if you have to go to the bathroom or get hungry or something?" Minho questioned.

"I have a bathroom connected to my room and I would just wait to eat."

"Why didn't you tell me about it sooner?"

"Why would I? It's embarrassing, they're right about it anyway. And it's not like you could to anything about it."

"You still could have talked to me about it," Minho said and kissed the top of Jisung's head in hopes to get him to calm down since he could tell he was on the verge of crying again.

"Then I would just be annoying you."

"No, you wouldn't."

"I don't need to bother you by telling you about the same repetitive issue that I always end up overreacting about."

"You don't overreact. It's valid to be sad about it even if it's repetitive. You're parents suck."

"I don't know how to make them not disappointed in me," Jisung mumbled as Minho placed more kisses on the top of his head, trying to comfort him.

"They aren't the only people in your life anymore, okay? Their opinion about you doesn't have to mean that much. You shouldn't try so hard for people who don't even do the bare minimum for you."

"Because I still have hope that they'll love me. They have never once said it back Minho." Jisung said and felt another hot tear run down his face, causing him to get even more frustrated with himself. "I just want them to say it back once even if they don't really mean it."

Minho noticed Jisung clawing his arm and gently pulled his hand and enlanced their fingers instead so that he would stop although now he was unsure of what to do to comfort. He was crying just as much as he was before they had even started talking about it and he was harshly gripping onto Minho's hand.

Minho could care less about himself at the moment but he was more concerned about how Jisung now seemed like he couldn't stay still. It seemed like it was just now hitting him that he had explained all of this to someone and he was mad at himself for it.

Minho decided to drop the conversation again for a while and find some way to get Jisung to calm down again that didn't involve him clawing himself until he bled.

He sat upon his bed as Jisung followed his lead and Minho reached over and grabbed a red pen off of his dresser and placed Jisung's hand onto his knee as he started doodling on it again in hopes that it would help.

"I know that you want to hear those words from your parents but even if they never do say it it doesn't mean that you are unloveable to other people."

"You're only saying that because you don't want to end up killing me," Jisung said as he watched Minho continue to draw on his hand. He almost hated how this had seemed to work so well but he was glad that he stopped crying since he had already embarrassed himself enough in front of Minho.

Minho felt his heart sink at Jisung's words. He knew Jisung didn't believe him and he wasn't sure how to convince him that he was being honest. He didn't even want him to accept it in the way of agreeing to date him at this point. That wasn't what he needed to focus on right now anyway. He just wanted Jisung to know that he would always be there for him and that he could always talk to him.

"I'm not, " Minho stated in a quiet voice, not sure how to convince him that he was being honest.

"Is this some kind of manipulation plan because you do want to kill me?"

"No."

"Is it out of pity?"

"Jisung," Minho said with a sigh as he let go of his hand and instead held onto both sides of his face so the younger would look him in the eyes. "I love you."

Jisung seemed to be examining Minho's facial expression, wondering if he was telling the truth or not but he still couldn't accept it. He still wasn't sure how he felt towards Minho. He felt different around him than he did with Felix but he didn't know what it meant.

"Don't think too much into it right now." Minho interrupted his thoughts. "Just think of it as an 'I'm always here if you need to talk about anything and I would never judge you for anything because I care a lot about you'" Minho explained.

"Okay," Jisung mumbled and moved his hands up to grab Minho's and picking the pen up from the bed and placing it back into Minho's hand, and lifting his right arm sleeve up to provide Minho more free space to draw on.

Minho understood what the younger was implying and continued drawing random things on his arm.

"Hey," Jisung said a while later, causing Minho to look up from his arm which was now pretty much covered in red ink. Not that Jisung minded at all, he loved the color and he always worse wong sleeved things anyway so it didn't matter but he couldn't help to notice how dark it had gotten when he glanced out the window.

"Hmm?"

"I should go home now," Jisung explained while pointing out Minho's window.

"It's too late for you to walk home."

"Fine," Jisung said, trying to act as if he wasn't hoping that Minho would say that. He was surprised that he didn't want to go home yet because of everything that had happened but he didn't want to go back home and deal with the possibility of his parents going home.

And he was perfectly content watching Minho doodle on his arm. The red ink wasn't as satisfying as cutting was but it was enough...for now.