Red/Minsung

🍉65🍉

"You're planning on trying again aren't you?"

"I-" Jisung began to speak but thankfully (for him at least) the doorbell rang, causing him to quickly get up from his spot beside Minho. "I'm gonna go get that." He said before rushing downstairs.

Minho of course followed him and saw Jisung open the door to see Chan holding several water bottles and gave Jisung a small smile.

Jisung went to take the bottles but Minho stopped, not wanting him to carry anything and somehow rip his stitches open.

"Hi, are you feeling better now Jisung?" Chan questioned, he didn't know everything that happened. All Minho told him was that Jisung had been to the hospital and Minho needed to stay with him for a few days.

"Y-yeah I feel fine," Jisung replied.

"Thank you," Minho said to Chan who smiled at him.

"Yeah, no problem."

"Chan d-do you w-wanna come in a-and h-hangout for a while?" Jisung questioned, shocking the oldest since Jisung was usually extremely quiet or only really talked to Minho at lunch. It seemed very weird for Jisung to suddenly ask for him to hang out.

Chan looked over at Minho who looked a mixture of sad and stressed then back at Jisung who was looking at him hopefully.

Chan didn't know what was going on but he had a feeling that he should leave so they could talk to each other in private.

"I actually already made plans with Jeongin but thanks for offering," he replied, giving Jisung a small smile. "See you soon."

Once Chan closed the door Jisung stayed still in his place in front of the door, scared of turning around and having to answer Minho's question.

He didn't have to for Minho to know the answer though.

He had just gotten home from the hospital for attempting to commit suicide, no one cared about him while he was there, he probably still felt pretty horrible and nothing has changed since then. So of course he would feel the same way he did on Saturday night about it. To Jisung it probably didn't seem like anything would change.

"I shouldn't have asked you something like that. You don't have to answer." Minho said, making Jisung let out a sigh of relief at the fact he wouldn't have to talk to Minho about something like that.

Jisung followed Minho back up into his room as Minho chugged down one of the bottles in one go.

"Do I still smell like blood?" Jisung questioned, noticing how Minho seemed to have been starving.

"You don't. I just haven't eaten anything since I read that note." Minho explained, mumbling the last part. He was lying about Jisung not smelling like blood but he really hadn't eaten anything since he had read the note. He knew if he told Jisung that he did smell like blood the younger's mind would spiral into negative thoughts so he decided to leave that part out.

He was also disgusted by the number of times he wondered what Jisung's blood would taste like since he had gotten there and he never wanted Jisung to know about those thoughts.

It was dangerous for him to be around Jisung who smelt like blood when he was that hungry but he trusted himself enough to stay. And he luckily didn't do anything but maybe he was beginning to trust himself a bit too much.

"Why not?"

"Are you really asking me that? I was very preoccupied worrying about you." Minho replied, he was well aware that it may have been slightly insensitive to say but he wanted Jisung to know the truth. He was worried sick about him up until Felix finally picked up his phone and confirmed that he was okay.

"You shouldn't have been that worried. Please don't ever skip meals because of me again, that's unhealthy."

"You shouldn't worry so much about making your parents happy. That's unhealthy." Minho fired back, "You should focus on making yourself happy." He finished and leaned in to give Jisung a quick kiss.

"I don't want to," Jisung mumbled earning a questioning look from Minho.

"What do you mean?"

"It's only temporary so what's the point?" Jisung asked, he wasn't sure why he was telling Minho this but the words already left his mouth and now he couldn't help but say more. "Whenever I feel happy and come back here the sadness or whatever the feeling is it just feels 10 times worse. I'm really tired."

"That's temporary too Sungie. I promise things will get better. Please just be strong for a little bit longer."  Minho explained but he couldn't help feeling a bit guilty. Should I really be saying this to him if he's really this miserable?

I can't even do anything about it right now because we are both still in school, my mom won't let him stay at my house, and Jisung would hate me if I made anything happen to his parents...But wouldn't he end up happier without them?

And Jisung would be happier without his parents in his life but he didn't want anything to happen to them or for them to get punished for anything they have or haven't done to him. Because he still thought that they deserved to be happy.

Jisung didn't respond and truthfully the silence was killing Minho but he knew he needed to stop bringing it up. Jisung still wasn't in the right mindset for conversations like this one. He had already brought it up several times without meaning to but he really needed to stop himself.

For now, he needed to focus on cheering Jisung up. He could have these conversations and ask these questions at a time where he isn't potentially further triggering him.

He turned over and wrapped his arms around the younger who tensed up for a few seconds before realizing Minho wasn't going to say or ask anything else so he let himself relax and close his eyes.

"I promise I'll make the happy times 100 times better than the bad...so that it's worth it" Minho mumbled, kissing the top of his head as Jisung stayed silent, causing Minho to assume he had already fallen asleep.

You've already broken one promise, Jisung thought to himself as he doubted Minho could even succeed to keep it in the first place.

And Minho broke this promise as well.

Even worse...he did the opposite.