Toxic Waste of Love

Fallen By Measure

Acartous In The Media

I had to go see the counselor today. I really didn't want to go to someone and talk about my life. I got in my rental car. My car wasn't fix yet so they got me a rental until it's fixed. I pull up my phone and listen to this talented rapper named Trippy Lynn on soundclound. I was feeling relax and less nervous about going to see this counselor. I pulled up at the place and kinda didn't want to go in. I had to go in to make myself a better person.

I walked in and checked in and waited for the doctor to come and get me. She came and got me. I was really nervous about telling her my business.

She said "Hello I'm Doctor Finde make yourself at home and we'll get started."

I sat down and got comfortable cause I know this gone be a long trip.

She said "I know your probably nervous and I just want you to start where you think is best."

I started to tear up thinking about how my life has been." I've been through so many things in my life."

She said "Is that what led to the suicide act."

I said "Yea I didn't want to be here I wanted to let my soul be free. I felt like I was trapped with no one there to help free me. I tried to let the things that happen to me go but it's hard doing it on your own. I don't understand why things happen to me but I understand they happened for a reason. I know now that it wasn't my time to go and that my work on this earth isn't done."

She said "You seem to be a very strong person who was getting hurt by the ones you love that you finally broke. You tried to pick yourself up when you fell but it didn't work this time."

We talked for hours about me and my life. We had to end our talk until next week. I walked out there feeling new and free. She really opened up my eyes to how I should see life now . I rode home listening to Teyana Taylor album. I really just need to be free to be myself.

I pulled up at the house and went in the house. I went into my room and started writing. I wrote about everything in life. Akin stood in the doorway looking at me. He walked in and hugged me tight.

He said "Don't ever scare me like that again. Your the only thing I have left other than my girl and son. You remind me so much of mom and dad. From the way you look to how you act."

He was crying and it was crazy because he never really showed emotion even when my parents died. He really showed me the new person he is becoming.

He said "I know you are strong but I don't want you to feel like you have no one there for you but I'm here and I don't want you to ever forget that."

I hugged him and it seem as if my life was coming together to be better. Tre'Nell then appeared in the door looking sexy as hell. Akin then walked and left us alone.

Tre'Nell said "Hey beautiful you looking beautiful today."

I said "Thank You you to."

He came over to me and hugged me tight.

He said" Don't ever do that to me again. Even though we ain't together I still care for you and to lose you would be my worst fear. You are a good person and I think that this niggas aint worth yo time."

I got a text from Dominick saying he wants to talk to me. I didn't know what he wanted to talk to me about so I text him asked where he wanted to meet up at. He texted me and told me to meet him at Human Park. I got my stuff and told Tre'Nell to that I will be back later on.

I pulled at the park and got nervous. I was tried of getting hurt and betrayed by these niggas so if that all his intention are then I need to move on. I get out of the car and spot him. I walked over to him.

He said "You look beautiful today."

I said "Thank you"
M
We went and sat at a picnic table. He smiled at me and I tried not to get caught up.

He said "I know you been through a lot and I haven't really been there for you. I know your hurting and are not letting anyone love you ever again. I know you were nervous to meet me today and you thought I would hurt you. But I'm not like these other nigga. I promise I won't hurt you. I will do anything to make sure your happy. I just want you to give me a chance. It don't have to be now but I just want to know there hope for me.

I said "Yea I will give you a chance." He did his sexy as smile that just makes me fall in love every time he does it. We talk for hours and hours about ourselves and our goals in life. He was really a sweet person and I know he can handle my mouth.

I just hope he don't break my heart like all the rest.