Toxic Waste of Love

Dead Heart

Anih King in Media

Ahjiea POV
I don't understand why this keeps happening to me. The person I love the most just died right in front of me. I haven't been able to sleep ,eat, or talk. I got to get ready for his funeral tomorrow. But it's all hard for me to process.

The Next Day
Akin came in and woke me up and made me eat. I got up and got ready for his funeral. They want me to sing at his funeral. It's all really just hitting me I can't see the man who had my heart for the last year. He gave me all his love and never wanted anything in return. I put on my clothes and headed to the church. They got one of the the niggas that were shooting but the others are free. I walked in the church and seen his body laying there I just couldn't take it so I broke down and cried.

Later On
It was time for me to sing and I really don't think I can do it. But I know that he would have wanted me to sing for him one last time.

"May we lay ye down. Let em rest in peace. Let em go cause he watching over us. He was a beautiful spirit that is gone to soon.

I couldn't finish singing I just broke down and cried. I really tried to do it. But I felt he was there for me holding me up. I'm glad I fell in love with someone like him. He really has my heart but now I got to get my self together.

The funeral was over and his mother wanted me to come over to the house so we can talk. I didn't know what she wanted to talk to me about. But Ima go see what she want.We pulled up at her house and we all walked in. She told me that he had a surprise gift for you in his room. I ran up them steps so fast to see what it was. It was in a big bag. I looked inside and opened the first gift it was a gold necklace. It was beautiful. The next gift was a ring and it had "More than love " written on the outside and inside.

The final gift was a card it had a picture of me and him on there. I thank his mama and made my way home wearing the ring and necklace. When I got out the car I heard someone call my name. I looked around until I seen him. The nigga was the last person I want to see right now. He called my name again and started walking over to me. He came close and I really didn't know what to expect.

I asked "What do you want Desmond?"
He said "I just want to talk can we take a walk."
Now this nigga know I don't trust him so why on gods green earth would I take a walk with him.
He said "Look I know you don't trust me but I ain't gone try nothing. I don't want to go back to jail."
I don't know who this nigga think he fooling. But Ima take a walk with him just so he can leave me alone.
I said "I guess "

We started walking towards the park which wasn't that far from my house. I know that Akin and Anih are there so I should feel safe. Akin seen me walking with Desmond and gave me that look. He started walking over towards us. I was kinda glad he did.

Akin said "Ahjiea can you watch Anih for me I got to go back to work."
I said "Yea I will watch him for you where Nina at."
He said "I don't know somewhere."
I called Anih name and he came over to me.

I picked him up and we started walking with Desmond again.

He said "Look I know I hurt you to the max and I shouldn't even be talking to you right now. But I'm glad I am cause you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You kept me good and out of trouble. Even my own momma said that you was the best and she a homophobic. I just hope that you can forgive me and we can at least be somewhat friends."

I didn't know what to say cause he really just poured his heart out to me. I don't want to be cold hearted about the situation but that what happens to you can do to you. I've always been the one to give people a chance even though I know it doesn't feel right.

I said "Look I have forgiven you but the friends part I don't know about. Cause I'm still picking up the pieces from my life that you caused to shatter. I would have never thought in a million years you would hurt me in that way. I know you would have cheated or lied to me but to rape me. I really thought you had changed and I was the dumb one cause I thought with my head and not my gut feeling."

He was crying now and I didn't feel bad he needs to feel what I felt.

He said "Thank You for being in my life. No matter what I really do love you.

He walked away and it was like a burden had been lift off my chest. I walked home with Anih he was sleep so I had to carry him home. I open the door and took him to his room. I got a text on my phone as I walked out the room. It was from Chris saying he wanted to see me. I told him he can come over. Chris had really became a good friend to me and he just so supportive but I would not date him.

I went to go change my clothes and wait for Chris to show up. 10 minutes later he knocked on the door.

He said "Hey nigga how you holding up."
I said "I'm good so far but it sometimes hit me when I want to call him that he not there anymore. I still listen to the voice mails he sent me just to hear his voice."
He said "Damn well it has only been three weeks since it happened so it's okay to feel the way you feel."

The door open and it was Tre'Nell and his little boy toy. I continue talking to Chris cause he was giving me some good advice. Tre cleared his throat I guess to get my attention. I ignored him and payed attention to Chris. I can tell that Tre was getting mad cause he started sighing.

He said "Damn can you stop being a hoe for 10 minutes. Yo boyfriend just died and you already trying to ride another nigga dick."

I was taken back by what this nigga just said. He really must of flip his wig cause.

Chris said "Wait a minute we not together nore have we ever been or plan to be. I'm his friend and that all."

I still trying to process what he just said. I felt the tears start to fall cause the last person I would ever have thought just turned his back on me. I got and went to my room and lock the door. He knows how I feel about him and he just called me out like that. I completely done with these niggas.