𝐆𝐔𝐍𝐒 & 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐒 | 𝐇𝐑𝐉

29

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
so far away

That certain question caught the girl off guard making her stare blankly at the wall behind the boy as if it is the most interesting thing she had ever seen in her entire existence. Her hands slides down to the boy's chest before sighing and looking back at his eyes that swirls with curiousness just like how her eyes shines with the same thing earlier while she's being eager to hear the young boy's background story that turns very traumatic and dark. She actually doesn't want to open up but she needs to.

The younger is right when he said: “I'm going to tell you my story not because you told me to do so but remember our talks in the cliff... how can you change me if you don't know the damages? the cracks? the faults? how can you change me if you don't know if I'm worthy of your effort of changing me” and it'll be completely selfish for her not to tell him her story when he did tell his.

“I know that Zhong Wonhang is a terrible person in raising his kids because I know what he did to Chenle but I want to know yours, you can trust me but the question is will you trust me just like how I did?” Renjun asks lowly making the girl look down at her now shaky hands that's why his thumb and pointer finger lift up her head to make her look back at his eyes before nodding and pecking a kiss.

A wave of safety rush through his lips making the girl sigh and nods saying that she will tell her story. Yeah she is already far away from her dad's manipulation but she can't go away from those memories because it is already inked in her head.

“You know what a lot of people call me a woman of ambition and dream but you know what I don't have any dream or ambition heck I don't even know what I want to do because my dad didn't grant me the freedom to dream that isn't connected to the dream he gave me and it is to be the dream woman, sister and daughter he wants me to be. He ruled every single string of me, yeah this is my life but I need to live in the way he wants me to live.

Funny how my soulmate's sub-unit name is NCT DREAM but I don't have a fucking dream... maybe because I'm still finding about my own definition of dream other than the definition of it being what the older people or higher official wants you to do.

So far away, if I had a dream... if only I had a flying dream. It's really a bitch to not have something you want to do I know that it seems pathetic to not have a dream like everyone just because my dad told me “Everything's going to be alright if you go to university and do as I tell you” I believed in those words but I'm living because I can't die.

Right, I'm living because I can't die but I don't have anything I want to do I'm in so much pain and loneliness but people around me keep telling me to regain my consciousness I try to vent my anger but I only got myself so what's the point of venting my anger I'm scared to open my eyes everyday and start breathing.

As you can see my dad raised me to be a mini version of him, he made me inherit every single thing about him for the reason of it is the main reason why Zhong Enterprise is at the top and I need to have those things in order to keep our beloved company on its peak or maybe even higher that's why he made me engrave in my mind that my dream is to make ZE successful but it turns out that it is his dream and not mines.

Maybe that's the reason why I turned into a someone like him when I finally get a taste of success with my own bar Cherry High, I turned into a monster- a monster that ruined the blooming love- lil friendship going between us.

Wonhang made me enter school in such a young age before I go to the proper school he is my teacher he doesn't let my mother teach me or whatsoever- he doesn't need to stop my mom though since she doesn't care about me even a single bit she'll even say that she despise me and hated me and how she wished I was never born. That man manipulated me and abused me physically every time I messed up in a very itty bit mistake he will punish me badly some punishment a five years old can't imagine.

Even my family are drifting away I feel anxious as time passes by it feels like I'm all by myself I hope everything disappears when I'm alone I hope things disappear like mirage I hope things disappear I hope my damn self disappears I'm abandoned like this in the worldIn this moment I'm drifting away from the sky.

He doesn't let me befriend anyone or let anyone befriend me unless it is some daughter or son of a wealthy person who has a lot of connections that will make ZE grow bigger - investors for what should I say but they're nothing but a bunch of plastic kids, fake assholes. And my first ever friend is Mark Lee you'll not believe me if I'll say that I know him before you introduced 127 squad to me and I already know NCT but mostly the 127 and WayV when I met you that was the time I knew Dream unit.

My dad really hates NCT because y'all always hit on his business his mouth turns into a machine gun everytime y'all do something to his beloved enterprise company. I meet Mark when I saw him on top of my dad's secretary dead body laying on the cold floor then the next month I meet him again when he pretended to be a janitor in one of dad's mall in Seoul then we became friends the story of our friendship didn't last long when he disappear after a month again.

My parents are soulmates but one thing that confuses me is the fact that my dad fall in love deeper with someone that isn't my mom and had a kid with her making it Chenle, same thing with my mom. That's why I came in the point where I hated that loud kid because of my confusion but later I learned how to love him for he is the only one who believes in me and support me whole heatedly without any media play or just to make other people think that we have a good bond.

That is also the reason why I despised having a soulmate but I didn't despise you at all what I despised is the soulmate thingy and how it works. When I was kid I really loved the idea of having one for the fact that you have someone to be with you through the rest of your life, someone who is meant to be with you, to love every single perfection and dents in your figure they'll still love you unconditionally but it all changes when that thing happened”

Meigui finally finish her little history time that focuses to a woman named Zhong Meigui who threw her youth in exchange of the attention and love of her parents but failed miserably. Tears started to cascade down her reddened cheeks as she painfully snobs in Renjun's shoulder as the said boy comforts her by patting her back and tracing little random shapes there successfully silencing the girl.

“I will be there for your creation until the end of your life so dream, wherever you might be and wants to be it will be lenient, you will fully bloom after all the hardships... your beginnings will seem humble so prosperous will your future be- with me” Renjun said as he place a loving kiss in her forehead then singing a song to lure the girl to sleep while caging in his embrace.

Chapter 28 & 29 is my appreciation for mfal, Min Yoongi. I swear to God his Agust D comebacks never disappoints because it's a whole package mixtape. God knows how much I love that dude specially his beautiful hands- umm back to the topic... he is my number one safe place because he's the idol I can relate to... So far away and The last are one of my favorite tracks in his first mixtape last 2016 because it tells his hardships that he successfully overcome.

These songs motivates me to continue living and stop acting like a mf cry baby because Yoongi doesn't raise no bitch. These songs make me realize that I can get through all the shits universe will throw to me because if he did I can too and so y'all will. I recommend listening to these masterpieces, feel free to dm me if you want to have someone to talk to because I really need one for I'm back in my mentally exhausted phase again that makes me have swelder thoughts again.

(Y'all seems cool and fun I love interacting with y'all in the comments section, ily!!!)