Hell is better

Chapter 13

Newt's point of view:

We drove with this ship for 1 hour now. Various vans had brought us and a few kids to a landing stage and now we drove to the safe harbor.
Of course, our friends knew new kids and teens were coming, but how would they react when they saw us? They thought we were dead.
For 4 damn months we had completely disappeared from the scene and now we just came back like that? That sounded so surreal.
Much too easy to want to be true.
And it wasn't easy, it was shit.
Our friends lived their lives on, had long since passed.
I was pretty sure Thomas had comforted himself with Brenda.
And even if not: what did I feel? I just wasn't sure, maybe too much had happened.

On the other hand, there's Tess. I never thought that I would trust her. But I got to know her the way she really was ..... broken, afraid, sick and desperate .... and yet so caring at the same time, and joyful.
I had looked deep into her soul, into her past, I had understood her reasons and I had won her trust.
And I knew her, probably better than I knew anyone else ..... maybe even more than Tommy.
'Maybe' was superfluous, I knew her better than him.
I had never really found out anything about his past, about his feelings and fears ... I only got to know Thomas from the Maze.
And now everything seemed so strange to me.
If I've been thinking so much about it all, how much please Teresa!
At least she had more worries.
The fear that she would be rejected, hated, forever alone ... that was not good for her already unstable condition.
She might look okay, but she wasn't. It was the little things that brought it to my attention, like chewing on her lip, narrowing eyes, or shaking uncontrollably in her hands.
But I couldn't help her, couldn't tell her everything was going to be fine. Because I didn't know myself, the future wasn't in my hands.
Even though I would so much like to have control over it.
I, we could only hope.
I tried to focus my gaze on more and on the bank that was getting closer and closer.

//

Teresa's point of view:

I chewed my lower lip nervously.
I just ignored Newt's concerned look out of the corner of my eye.
I knew full well that he had figured out me ... he was probably just as worried. It was a disaster.
On the one hand, we were finally safe, and maybe we could be happy again.
But that was only true for him. I was Teresa Agnes, the traitor ... I was hated, cast out, I was alone.
And I blamed myself so much that it wouldn't help me either.
They weren't my friends anymore, they hated me. And I couldn't even blame them.
I was older now, I understood her side, but I was true to myself ... that was the only thing that counted, right?
Sometimes I wish I died that night.
I already saw them in front of me, the looks, the screams, the anger ... and my tears and my inner demon that screamed.
I was never good enough, I never would be.
Everything I did was wrong, if I didn't do anything, it was wrong too.
I just didn't have a chance.
Hell is better than this kind of agony.

//

Newt's point of view:

The ship had just stopped. The anchor was thrown on the ground and from here I could see some people from the Safe Haven gathering around the entrance.
"I think it's best if you go last." said the one guard we met yesterday.
I nodded and looked at Teresa, who looked like she was about to cry.
All the children, who were very happy, ran past us.
The sight put a small smile on Teresa's face.
These children were given the chance of a new, better life.
Teresa saw in them exactly the opposite of her.
And I'd love to help her, but I couldn't. "You should go." she said to me.
"You too, come with me" most of them were already off the ship.
"Maybe it would be better if I went back. I could help Victoria find new children."
"Tess, stop the nonsense ..."
I almost dragged her to the exit.

//

I could already hear their voices, I knew they were there. All.... Well,nearly everyone.
I could match Thomas, Brenda, Minho, Gally, Sonya and Jorge.
"Was that all?" asked Jorge.
"2 still, it says here ..." oh Vince was here too.
I should go first, Tess had said.
They should be happy before they stopped doing it ... were her words.
I hadn't really changed, not outwardly.
Actually I was just the old one, no more black veins.
My facial features had become a bit sharper, adult ..... but otherwise I was actually still 'Newt'.
Perhaps that was why they had looked so amazed when I emerged from the shadows.
All mouths were open, from somewhere I could hear someone breathing sharply.
Sonya shook her head in confusion while Tommy didn't move at all. "Newt ... are you really ..." said Minho, my oldest friend.
I nodded and felt the tears in my eyes, the others felt the same way.
I was so happy to see her again, so damn happy! And still it felt weird. "But how!" began Brenda.
But Minho had already pulled me into a tight hug, as had Gally, Brenda, Jorge, Vince and Sonya, my sister. Tommy was the last to hug me.
"I've missed you so!" he whispered. Me too, but ...
"How could you survive, I mean you were dead! We saw it ... you ..." Gally looked desperate.
I looked back and looked in the direction of Teresa, who now stepped out shyly.
She looked so scared, so fragile ... I wish I could hug her now.
But that would raise even more questions.
On the faces of my friends, I saw them with different emotions. Horror, hatred, anger, understanding and somehow joy ... Sonya was the only one who immediately stormed off to hug Tess, the two had always understood each other.
Tommy hesitated ... but he did it anyway.
It stung my heart, but I didn't know if it was because of him or Teresa.

//

Thomas point of view:

What a day, really wow ... it was confusing. Newt had looked so cold when we met, it had hurt me.
But how did the two survive! Newt had described it to us, but we hadn't really understood it ... and he left something out.
And now we were having a meeting even though we weren't all able to. Today's topic: What happens to Teresa?
Which was just being guarded in the main tent.
Everyone was talking at once.

"So in my opinion we should send them away!" said Gally.
"Where to? In the desert?" Sonya sat down.
"Did you forget what she did? This is Teresa! You can't trust her, she betrayed us, put us away." Minho looked angry.
"Exactly, she and Wckd are just utterly angry!" Gally agreed.
"But Wckd doesn't exist anymore" Frypan stood with his arms crossed. "It would be best if we throw her straight to the cranks, when she's dead, all our problems are solved." said Harriet.
I stayed out of it.
"Mhhh" Newt snorted contemptuously.
All eyes were on him.
"What ?! What I have to say is probably not of interest here, is it? After all, I had to live with her for 4 months.
And what I can say: she saved me, without her I wouldn't be here at all. Teresa may have made mistakes, but she is not malicious.
You are not the only ones who have experienced suffering, you may have thought about what concerns them. Have you ever looked at them?
She looks worse than death "
he was right, she looked really fragile. "Don't say now that you stand in for her, what's next: do you trust her or what?"
Gally was walking around nervously now.
"Yes, yes I trust her"
"Newt is right. Wckd is no more. Teresa may have made mistakes, but she is not Wckd.
We always have to think about what her real goal was ... to save the world."
Brenda now had that too Word taken. "And what do we do with her now? She can stay here, but how long will it be before others find out who she is?" said Jorge.
"Then we have to make sure that nobody finds out who she is."

I stayed out the whole time.
I really didn't know what to think. In the time when I thought she was dead, it was easy for me to forgive her.
Now there was still the anger and confusion that made me rethink everything.

//

Hope you like it :)
Feedback would be amazing.

Arya