Hell is better

Chapter 14

Teresa's point of view:

How many days had passed, maybe weeks, months.
Well, not really, but I had totally lost the feeling for any time.
I was a mess, no matter how calm I looked inside, it wasn't me.

My life was messed up, but no one who saw me could guess. I was good at covering things up, hiding things, I had always been a master of playing hide and seek.
With one exception, of course ... Newt. I had previously been able to confide in him that he would understand, but our ways had somehow parted ways.

Somehow not much time had passed, but so much. Everyone else had agreed not to tell anyone who I really was.
I was just Tess now, officially Newt had found me somewhere in the desert and had taken me with him. Nothing from my past, nothing from Wckd.
It didn't stop the others from treating me like dirt, most of them anyway. It was the little things, but they hurt me all the more.
I wasn't like I used to be anymore. Still, it made no difference.

And well, actually I also thought that I could count on Newt, that we were now there for each other, that he was now there for ME. But in no case was it like that.
He had distanced himself, of course we still talked from time to time, but God it wasn't the same.
Even Thomas had communicated more with me during this time, which was definitely a surprise.
He had told me he was done with the past, but he didn't know me, not as a person like I was now.
Maybe one day it would be different, but we just had no connection to each other, such different people.
Friends and that was enough.

I also had to watch all the weeks as Newt and Thomas got closer again. Officially, of course, Thomas had Brenda, he was happy with her, but maybe it wasn't enough for him. Anyway, I wasn't blind, and neither was Brenda.

Despite the relief, I felt so tired, so exhausted, just broken. Every day so endless and it was always the same. Even if the others slowly began to tolerate me, I didn't feel accepted, just alone.
Sonya was a great help, she made me feel somehow useful and Frypan always filled me an extra portion, even though he knew the plate would stay full.
But I should be happy, shouldn't I? Glad I was alive, even if it's a life I never wished for.

//

Newt's point of view:

"Hey Fry, can you give me the sauce?" Gally called across the table to the cook.

Less than 10 seconds later, something flew over our heads.

"Thank you" Gally nodded to him.

Then I went back to my food.
Funny, I still hadn't got used to all this togetherness. Sometimes I had the feeling that they would get into each other's hair again, like in the Glade. But this was different and that was a good thing.
Everyone else was absorbed in their conversations again, which I listened attentively.
Minho actually wanted to tell something about yesterday, luckily he had forgotten it. In all honesty, his stories weren't the best.

"Hey guys, did you guys leave us something?" Asked my little sister.

I looked up and looked at her, her hair was wet, she wanted to go swimming.
She and Tess, whom I had only just noticed, sat down. I smiled at her slightly, but somehow quickly regretted it.
I was sorry about the way things had gone, but we had to adjust so I tried to be neutral with her, but it hurt.

Shortly afterwards, Frypan arrived and served the girls their food.
As always, Teresa was quiet, a little too quiet perhaps. Every now and then she ate a bite, but otherwise she just poked around, which nobody seemed to notice.
Sometimes it was weird when she was there, the others stopped talking because they still thought they couldn't trust her.
Today it was different, no one paid any attention to her, which was still not positive.

//

We were clearing our dishes and a group of teenagers our age joined us.

"Hey you Tess, before that you actually come, I mean that you were just found in the desert like that."

Immediately I saw the panic in her eyes, Minho stared intently at her. It was definitely a warning.

"Um, actually from New York. I've always been an orphan, so it wasn't really difficult to fall through the system. I hid and survived, easy."

She was creative, I had to give her that. My friends seemed pleased with that answer.
The people who sat down with us continued to engage them in a conversation.
She felt visibly uncomfortable, I would have loved to tell them that she wanted to be left alone.

I didn't, just headed for the beach instead. I didn't notice, however, that Minho was following me.

//

"Hey, are you okay?"

I winced when I heard Minho's voice, I hadn't expected it.
I turned around and gave him a slight smile.

"Yeah sure."

He sat down next to me.

"I think it's nice that you're here again."

"Me too, it's unbelievable that I found you guys"

"We"

"What?" I was confused.

"Well, that 'you' found us. You weren't alone."

"Oh yes, of course."

"She's not doing well, is she?"

I would not have expected this question from him.

"Why do you ask ... and no, obviously not, I mean you would be fine."

He snorted.

"Probably not. Oh and I have no idea, you stood up for her so much."

"Yes, but there are better things to do right now."

"Thomas, for example."

"What?" I laughed.

"Oh well, see you later, buddy."

He got up and then left me alone with my thoughts.

//

Hey guys, I'm finally back!
Please say if you like it or not and tell me things you wish for next chapters in the comments!

What do you think will happen next?

Best wishes,
Arya :)