Hell is better

Chapter 16

Brendas Pov:

I knew something was wrong with her.
I never really liked her, but more because I never had the chance to really get to know her.

It was different now I think.
She had nobody, well almost nobody, and maybe I felt a little guilty.

The time she's been here hasn't been easy for any of us, but it's been hard to her the most, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to hang out with her.

And god it wasn't easy not to like her, she was nice...really genuinely nice and sweet.

I never thought I'd say something like that about fucking Teresa, but things haven't changed?

I had spent a lot of time with her and Sonya and it was cool to have non-male friends.

To be honest I had also gotten to know her better and kind of cared for her.
So it wasn't hard to figure out something was wrong after the boys took the ship to the mainland.

And suddenly it clicked, and suddenly everything made sense.
The way Newt snuck away at night, the fact that he would defend her to the death...everything!

"No...TERESA?!"

With a shy smile, she sort of answered me.

And now I was curious...definitely

"I mean like, what...help, you serious?!"

I was visibly surprised.
She didn't have to say anything and yet I knew exactly what was going on.

"I thought you hated each other?"
I asked cautiously.

"Yes..no, not really.
You know, when you depend on each other, you're forced to get to know each other. I didn't expect it and god I would never admit it but I think I fell in love.
He was the only one who really cared about me, who really cared about my past.
It's difficult to understand you know? But something tells me it's no use anyway."
she answered honestly.

I didn't think she would confide in ME.

"Wow actually it makes sense...but it really hadn't crossed my mind. God Teresa...now that you say it it's so obvious!"

I answered hysterically.
That made her laugh a little.
A genuine laugh and I loved the sound of her voice.
For the first time she looked really happy, like a load had somehow been lifted from her.

"But that's great heyyy you would be happy together I think!"

And from there her smile faded very quickly.
Did I say something wrong?

"I'll tell you the same thing I said to Sonya: don't you understand?
Newt and I, that we're not going to get anything, you understand!
He and Thomas...that's something special, don't you see?
They both love each other."

That was like a slap in the face.

"You mean he and Thomas...but Thomas he, he loves me"

I tried desperately to convince myself that.

I saw a pained look at Tess.

"I'm sure he loves you, the question is if he loves you more than Newt.
I know we don't have much in common, but being second on this one does!"

Okay that was too much for me... of course it wasn't her fault, she was just saying what we were all thinking.
But still... it scared the hell out of me.
I turned around and ran towards town.

The last thing I heard was Teresa calling after me.

//

Thomas Pov:

After we had been toiling for a while, looking for metal and raw materials for our small town, we now took a little break.

As always, Newt and I sat apart and ate our food.

As so often before, it was a bit quiet.
He's been a little dismissive lately, maybe a little shy, and I knew why.

I had Brenda and yes I liked her but Newt had always been my number one.

He just didn't know it yet and was probably a bit reticent about it.
The sooner I told him, the better things would be, right?

"Newt you know, don't worry about Brenda, she'll understand."

I said simply.

He looked at me and was visibly confused.

"What exactly do you mean Thomas?"

"I don't like Brenda like that,I like you! We have a bond and everyone knows it.
She does too...I'm trying to tell you I like you Newt...like you a lot."

Puhhh finally it was out.

But Newt looked at me excitedly and looked like he was about to throw up.
He began to stutter desperately.

"T-Thomas I don't know if you misunderstand something and I think it's brave that you tell me this...but it's not mutual.
you have brenda. She loves you and you love her! Don't get swayed and screw this up because of a crush on your best friend.
I liked you Thomas but it's been a while and I know we'll never be happy together.
The time we were apart I realized that now I only love you as friends. And you wouldn't have started dating Brenda so quickly if you hadn't done the same thing.
You are and always will be my best friend but please don't make it weird ok?!"

Wow that had sat.

I couldn't process it properly and I was pulled into a hug from Newt.

I understood him and I would give him his space, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt, damn hurt.

//

Newts Pov:

It broke my heart to see him like this. It would be like having your heart ripped out and trampled on.

But I felt constrained with him, it didn't feel right.

It made me sad but I didn't want to be unhappy.

And I didn't want Thomas to be unhappy or Brenda.

The poor thing really didn't deserve it.
I had come back and confused him, messed everything up, but that wasn't what he wanted.

I had seen him with Brenda, he was really happy. He really shouldn't screw that.

Besides, I wasn't happy with him.
There was only one person I felt comfortable with, felt so comfortable with.

There was only one person I wanted, that I genuinely loved.

But the situation didn't make it easy, it's very...complicated.

I'd hurt her more than once and never said what I wanted.
I screwed up and I knew she wouldn't back down.

I hadn't shown her how much I liked her and I was pretty sure it was too late now.

//

Ahhh I was finally motivated after I reread this and got another idea.

Can we please talk about that Newt and Teresa probably won't talk to each other this soon and they both do not know they do love each other?!

I'll try to update sooner

Arya