Savior

New Beginnings

A few months had passed. Rick and Negan were still close as ever and, Rick had finally asked Negan to be his boyfriend. All of this was new to Rick, he was so unfamiliar in certain aspects. Like going out in public and showing affection. That was hard for Rick, it still is. People stare, though no comments are made. Negan on the other hand, couldn't give two shits. He's always the one to engage it, wether he does something small like holding Rick's hand, or bigger, like kissing him and touching him. Negan always found laughter when people would stare, unable to hold himself back.

As for Rick and Shane, they hadn't spoken since their fight. He didn't try to apologize or anything, which Rick expected. Rick now had a new partner at work, his name is Aaron. They clicked almost instantly, just like Rick and Negan did, even though Aaron is much younger.

For once, things were looking up. Negan was doing ok, he still struggled sometimes with his thoughts and actions, but for the most part he was getting better.

One day Rick came home from work in a rush. Negan heard the front door open and close quickly. He walked over to the door but no one was there. "Rick?" He called upstairs. After a few seconds Rick responded, "Yeah, i'm getting dressed." Negan made his way upstairs and into Rick's room, he was zipping up his jeans. "Where are you going?" A confused look spread across Negan's face.

Rick looked through his closet, picking out a shirt to wear. "I'm going out for dinner with Aaron." He slipped on a white button down, leaving the two top buttons undone.

"Oh?" Negan responded in an unsure tone. He already didn't like this idea, jealousy rose in him faster than he could comprehend. Rick noticed Negan's uneasy look on his face, he stepped up to him and grabbed his waist. "What's wrong?" He asked quietly, searching for the answer in Negan's eyes.

Negan took a deep breath, "Nothing, I uh...it's fine, have fun." He scoffed, releasing himself from Rick's grip, then turned around to walk out. Rick didn't let him though, he caught him by his wrist and pulled him back to face him. "Negan, I know you're jealous. You don't need to be." Rick tried to comfort him, placing a hand on his cheek. Negan sighed.

"How do you know?" Negan's tone was slightly aggressive, but he hadn't realized it. Rick furrowed his eyebrows, taken back by Negan's words, and tone. Rick removed his hand from his cheek, dropping it down to his waist again.

"What? I-I would never cheat on you. Aaron is just my friend, that's all he's gonna be." Rick's last few words were soft, as he tried to hold back his anger. Negan raised his hand to his face, massaging his forehead firmly. "Ok, ok. I'm sorry. You're right, just go, I got the kids." Negan sighed, calming himself down.

Rick gave him a soft smile, "Thank you, honey." He drawled, then kissed Negan quickly before running downstairs.

A few minutes after Rick left, Negan stepped into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He stood in front of the mirror, leaning his arms against the counter. "God i'm fucking pathetic." He mumbled, staring at himself in the mirror. Negative thoughts ran through his head, unable to get back to his real self. They were submerging him.

He glanced down to the drawer which was slightly opened. The light shining into it revealed a razor blade, the ones for shaving. Do it, you deserve it. Repeated in Negan's head. He began to sweat, his hands trembling as he reached for the drawer. He carefully picked up the blade, turning it in his hand to examine it. "Don't" He whispered, but his mind told him otherwise.

Rick and Aaron were about halfway through dinner when Aaron had sparked up a new conversation. "So um, are you dating anyone?" He asked shyly, taking a sip of his drink. Rick looked up from his plate, his eyes meeting Aaron's. He was taken back by his question for a moment, needing to process it.