I saw my father in an entirely new light yesterday. He was drunk and mom wasn't exactly home when he came back, which is why I don't hate her at the moment cause she out of everyone in our home is the real fucking victim and that has made her kinda toxic and bitter.
But you see my mum is always there to send my dad to his room and all that when he's drunk but yesterday he was furious. He went to my brother, who btw is 12, and shouted at him telling him he's a loser and threatening to kill him, me, and my mother. Now the worst part is the shouting went on for an hour, my mum was home 5 mins after my dad came and she was trying to stop him but he's fucking loud and the entire neighbourhood was able to hear him.
I'm a coward, I'm 17 I should've been able to shut him up but I couldn't. I was scared, I was fucking shaking. I can't even protect my brother from the shit my family does and I hate myself for it. I could've done something. Maybe even hit him. But like a coward, I just stood there shaking, crying while he kept shouting shit at every one of us. I hate him.
I pretend to be such a strong person but I'm a scared little kid and i hate it.
The thing that bothers me the most is, in some ways I'm exactly like him.
YOU ARE READING
Just Me Ranting
Non-Fictiondon't read it lmao, it just felt calming to post it as a book or whatever. TW if your sorry ass is reading this, mentions of su!c!dal thoughts and self h@rm.
