I really am scared that it's all going back. Starting from the top to the bottom and bottom might just be the end of me.
While I don't remember feeling completely blissed, i do know there was a time when i didn't feel this way. I was worried, yes, but never guilty of my own existence. That feeling arose from somewhere within after I had hit teenage, after I was old enough to know.
It only got worse from there. In the midst of this uprising storm, i found solace in words. Words that acted as a portal to all of the multiverse. I was free, to be anyone, to be anywhere, to live.
The world outside kept burning. I wish it swallowed me too.
But i gained senses, things got better. I was closer to happiness than ever.
I don't know what changed but...
For the past months I have felt nothing. Not an ache that could remind of my beating heart. It has been nothing but an eerie foreboding, like a black hole keeps inching closer and i have no choice in my own demise.
I found solace again. I know the fire will take me now.
I keep sitting, time glaring right at me, i wait.
YOU ARE READING
Just Me Ranting
Non-Fictiondon't read it lmao, it just felt calming to post it as a book or whatever. TW if your sorry ass is reading this, mentions of su!c!dal thoughts and self h@rm.
