Jordana

Chapter 14

Jordana: Back to Black

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Having baby Joseph rest his head on my chest as he sleeps is giving me all types of awe. Not only is he my God son but he is the cutest baby that I have ever seen and I never admire children. I'm so in awe of Amerie and what she is doing with her twin boys.

I have never had the urge to want children until now.

My childhood messed me up and I never had any motherly instincts growing up but I strangely feel so protective of this tiny baby laying on me. Seeing the way my friends have matured has made me realise that I really need to start thinking about my future.

"Babe, I don't know how you do all of this." I look over at Amerie who is breastfeeding a tired looking Thomas.

"It's hard work but so worth it." She responds as she caresses her sons head. "I never thought about being a mom until I got pregnant but this is the best job in the world."

"That's really nice." Sofia says with a smile as she looks up from her laptop. "Jord, you and I need to make them babies soon so the twins have playmates."

"I think the fuck not." I respond as we both laugh quietly. "Amerie, you are raising two humans. I have all the respect for you."

Amerie laughs, "Well it takes a village to raise children so I'm grateful for all the help that I have."

"The fact that you were able to keep your entire pregnancy a secret is crazy." Sofia states and I nod my head. "You were out here rocking your bump or hiding it at the WWE shows yet it was never even a rumor. It took Joe announcing the birth of the twins for people to even realise that you were pregnant the whole time."

"I'm surprised that we made it that far." Amerie pulls a face. "We even went on a couple of girls trip and I wasn't even hiding the bump."

"I'm pretty sure I accidentally posted a picture of you in a bikini." I add before shaking my head. "Even though I deleted it, nobody thought to screenshot it."

"Good." Amerie gives me a look. "My pregnancy was far from smooth with all the things that happened between Joe and I. His family hated me when we broke up, they all blamed me..."

Sofia pats Amerie's back as she's overcome with emotion.

"I changed so much to be the woman that Joe needed yet they all turned their back on me." She sniffles. "I was pregnant with twins, this was my first pregnancy yet I was insulted by the people who were supposed to be my future inlaws. Not to mention that my own sisters and dad turned against me."

"Everybody was whack for that." I tell her as I run my hands down Joseph's back. "But you also allowed them to talk to you in that way."

"Jorda--" I cut Sofia off.

"The Amerie that I knew fought my ass when I tried to jump her." I grimace at my behavior. "You were always the fighter and you never let anybody talk trash about you. They may be Joe's family but you are still a person and you do not deserve to be treated like that. You need to put them in all their place."

---

I got into a huge bust up with Mona Scott over the phone because I dropped out of the show. True to his words, my dad got me out of things and I am no longer contractually able to film Love and Hip Hop.

Mona obviously wasn't happy and she went off on me. 

"Colson didn't even sleep with me." Gabi gives me a look. "He was too hung up over you to even touch me."

I laugh at her words, "That's a lie."

"Of course it is." Gabi laughs as she runs her hand through her hair. "The sex was good but then it became boring, he seriously can't hold a conversation for shit."

I shrug my shoulders because I don't care.

"Sofia still won't talk to me." Gabi pulls a face as she picks up her latte. "I thought she would be over things now."

"You did sleep with her brother." I remind her and she grimaces. "Axel is hot as shit, like fuck I wanted to sleep with him but there are boundaries and you crossed them."

"We were in Miami." Gabi tries to defend herself. "How could I pass it up?"

"Easily." I respond before thanking the barista as I grab my coffee and we walk out of the shop. "It's like Hollywood, everybody dates eachother as if there aren't millions of people they could date. Justin Bieber was out here breaking up friendships because he was sleeping with most of them."

"He was a good fuck but I never got the hype." Gabi takes a sip of her drink. "I just like to have fun."

"Nobody is stopping you from having your fun but show some compassion." I tell her as we stop besides her car. "Give me the keys, I'll drive."

Gabi gives me a weird look, "It's just coffee."

"You're going to want to take instagram pictures and I don't feel like getting into an accident." I respond as I take the keys out of her hand. "You'll thank me later."

She grumbles as we get into the car and I peel off once she has shut the door.

"I don't know why you're acting all righteous, you were just like me." She pouts and I sigh.

"Sometimes we have to grow up." I tell her as I keep my eyes focused on the road. "You and I were always the wild ones but look at us now. Everybody is getting their lives together and we've just been left in the dust because we don't know what the fuck to do."

"We're still young though."

"I'm going to be thirty in less than four years." I scoff to myself. "I live in a house, I'm in a long distant relationship and I have a job. It all sounds good on paper but everything has kind of been handed to me. Amerie made me a part owner and she gave me a job as model. My dad bought me a house and... What happens when I turn thirty?"

"Fuck knows." Gabi shrugs her shoulders. "I don't plan to have kids anyways so I'm not thinking about any of that shit."

"Maybe you should." I glance over at her. "You won't be young forever."