Running on Insulin

Chapter 24

Samantha asked for mac and cheese, and we only had the boxed type. She was okay with that.

"Want hot dogs in it?" I asked.

"Hot dogs? In mac and cheese?" she asked.

"Yeah. Haven't you ever had that?"

"My dad never got hot dogs. And only the cheap kind of mac and cheese. Sometimes," she said.

"Do you want to try it? I think we have some hot dogs in the freezer," I said. "And it'll be a good bit of protein."

"Okay," she said. "I like hot dogs, and I like mac and cheese, so, how bad could it be?"

Jenna got the hot dogs out of the freezer and started breaking some apart, and I pulled out a couple of boxes of mac and cheese.

"You're making two boxes?" Samantha asked.

"Yeah. Jenna and I are hungry too, you know,"

"But, a box of mac and cheese is eight meals," she said. "You're going to eat 13 servings of mac and cheese?"

"Sam," Jenna said, looking at the box. "There are only four servings of mac and cheese in a box. Theoretically. Tyler can eat a whole box himself."

"What do you mean there's only four servings? My dad always told me there were eight servings. That way it lasted for lunch and dinner for, like, four days."

"What do you mean? You'd eat one box of mac and cheese for four days straight?"

"No. That would be crazy," Samantha said. "I could have it for lunch or dinner."

"What would you have otherwise?"

"Sometimes my dad made me make chicken and potatoes," Samantha said.

"Oh, that's not so bad," Jenna said.

"Well, that's what he'd have. Sometimes I'd get his leftovers. If he had any."

"What do you mean?"

"If he didn't finish his chicken or potatoes, I could have what he didn't finish."

"Couldn't you make sure you made enough for both of you?"

"He left exactly how much he wanted me to cook. And locked everything else up," she said, speaking more and more quietly, and looking at her lap.

Jenna stared at Samantha, then turned away, a tear falling from her eye.

"Well, we don't lock any cabinets in this house," I said. "If you want a snack, you can have a snack. But you do have to test and take your insulin. That's the only rule. Oh, and you have to tell us if you finish something, so we can buy more."

Samantha kept looking at her lap.

"Macaroni is almost ready. Have you tested and taken your insulin?"

"No," she said.

"Okay, kiddo," Jenna said, going over to sit beside Samantha, and unzipping her kit. "Let's get this blood checked, okay?"

Samantha nodded and, with shaky hands, pulled out the lancing device and a test strip. I watched as she took a deep breath and tested her sugar.

"Good job," Jenna said.

I strained the macaroni and the hot dogs that I'd boiled in a separate pot, and put them on a cutting board to cut them up once I made the cheese sauce. I put butter and milk into the pot with the macaroni, and let that warm up for a bit before adding the neon orange "cheese" powder.

"Okay, insulin," Jenna said to Samantha. "Do you know how much?"

Samantha nodded, and sighed.

"I know sweetie. I know it's hard. You can do it," Jenna said.