Running on Insulin

Chapter 51

Tuesday wasn't any different than Monday at school.  Which was fine. I was nervous though, because I had the endocrinologist appointment and I hadn't seen him in a while. I hoped he wouldn't be mad at me for not coming more often. 

Jenna and Tyler and I got to the doctor's office with some time to go before my appointment, so we sat in the waiting room. Jenna and Tyler tried to talk to me, but I was nervous.

"What's up, baby girl?" Tyler asked me. 

"Nothing," I said. 

"Don't be worried, sweetie," Jenna said to me. "It's going to be fine."

"But I haven't been here in a long time. What if he's mad at me for not coming?"

"Oh honey, he's not mad at you for  not coming.  He knows what your dad was like," Jenna tried to calm me down. I sighed. 

Finally, we were called in. 

"Samantha," the doctor said to me. "It's nice to see you again.  How are you doing?"

I shrugged. 

"Okay, I guess," I said. 

"Well, I have your bloodwork here, and, well, it's not great. It's not bad, but it's  not great. Nothing that we can't improve in time. Your A1C is higher than it should be, but my understanding is that until recently, you weren't taking the right amount of insulin."

I shrugged, and looked away. 

"Don't worry about it," the doctor said. "I understand the situation and I also understand that the situation has changed.  So, I'm going to use this as more or less a baseline, and hope that it'll be better next time I see you, okay?"

I nodded. 

"Now, let's get a weight check, and check your blood pressure."

I took off my sneakers and my jacket and sweatshirt and hopped up on the scale. 

"Well, your weight's not too bad. It could be a bit higher. You could stand to gain a few pounds, but overall, you're doing pretty well."

"Tyler and Jenna have been awesome," I said. "They make sure I take the right medicines and that I eat enough. Da - Stanley - didn't care that much."

The doctor looked right at me. 

"Sam, I know things weren't great with your dad. I know what he was doing, and it's okay, okay? I mean, not what he was doing. That definitely was not okay. But you had no control over that, and none of it is your fault, okay?"

I  nodded. 

"Now, I think for now we'll keep you on the medications you're already on, I don't see any reason to make any changes now. I want to see you in four months, okay?"

I didn't know if I'd still be with Tyler and Jenna in four months. Not if Stanley figured out a way to get me back, but I nodded.

The three of us left, after making an appointment for four months from now. 

We went home and got into our usual routine. I had a snack, did my  homework, and talked with Tyler and Jenna while Josh sat and listened. 

Friday, I was nervous. Marie was coming again and I felt like she wasn't going to have good  news for me. Jenna and Tyler were amazing and kept talking to me and trying to keep me calm.  I went to school, but I felt completely disconnected. I couldn't concentrate and even Jill noticed. She kept talking to me when between classes and at lunch, trying to keep me occupied. I'd told her about Marie's visit, and try as she might, I couldn't stay focused on anything. 

I dragged myself out to the car at the end of the day. Jill walked out with me, and walked with me to the car. 

"Hey Jill. How's things?" Jenna asked. 

"Not bad," she said. 

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, um, is Sam okay?" she asked, looking at me in the backseat. "I know her social worker's coming over."

"She should be fine," Jenna said. "I think she's a bit nervous, but, it's going to be just fine, right, Sam?"

"Sure," I said, distractedly. 

"Sam, can I call you later?" Jill asked. 

"Sure," I said, not sure what she'd actually said, but it sounded like I should agree. 

"Jill, honey, she's going to be okay," Jenna said. "Maybe try giving Sam a call around eight tonight?"

"Okay," Jill said. "Sam, I'll call you later, okay?"

"Uh huh," I said. 

We drove home in silence. 

When we got home, I went into the house and straight up to my room. I wasn't sure what time Marie was supposed to come over, but I needed some space. I lay down on my bed and curled up on my side. 

"Sam, honey?" I heard Jenna knocking on my door. 

"Go away," I said.

"Sam, I'm coming in," she said. I rolled my eyes. 

"Thanks for listening," I said.

"Sam, honey," Jenna said, sitting on my bed beside me. "I know you're concerned that Marie won't have good news. But honey, don't shut us out, please."

"I'm not," I said. 

"You came straight upstairs, and you didn't say a word the whole drive home."

I rolled over onto my back and looked at Jenna. I hadn't realized that Tyler was standing in the doorway, arms crossed, looking concerned. 

"What if Marie does have bad news? What if my d- Stanley - managed to find some loophole? He does that kind of stuff."

Jenna rubbed my arm. 

"Sweetheart, obviously we don't know what Marie is coming to tell us, but I really don't think she's coming to bring bad news. Honey, we've been over this. Stanley not only lost his rights, he didn't even fight for them."

I shrugged. 

"Marie is going to be here any minute.  Come downstairs, let's see what she has to say, okay?"

Just then the doorbell rang. 

"That'll probably be Marie," Tyler said. "I'll go get the door, and meet you two downstairs?"

Jenna nodded, then turned back to me. 

"Let's talk to her, okay?"

I sighed. I may as well face the news and get it over with. 

I sat up and Jenna pulled me into a hug. 

"It's going to be okay, baby girl. I promise. It's going to be okay."