Running on Insulin

Chapter 36

Samantha's POV

My dad was right. I didn't deserve any of this. How could I be so stupid as to think anyone would want a freak like me? After Jenna made me take in some groceries I went out the back door. I ran. It would be so much easier for them if I wasn't around. All the food they'd bought for me? I don't deserve any of that.

I ran into the woods at the edge of the property and towards the fence I'd climbed when my dad was chasing me. Only this time, I didn't have the adrenaline that got me over the fence that night. I tried to climb it, but it was higher than I thought and I fell off.

After three tries, I landed hard on my arm. I don't think I broke it, but it hurt. I lay on the damp leaves and cried at my stupidity.

"Samantha?!" I heard from behind me. I couldn't be bothered to try to run again.

"Samantha? Where are you? Come on sweetie! Jenna and I are really worried! Let me know you're okay kiddo!"

It was Tyler. I didn't move. I just lay on my side, tears silently falling out of my eyes, holding my sore arm. Probably sprained my wrist or elbow.

"Sam! Come on kiddo! Please let me know you're okay!" Tyler was calling. His voice was getting closer.

"Sam!" I heard right near me. "Sam, are you okay? What happened?"

He picked me up and cradled me against his chest.

"Sam, we were so worried! Jenna went to get you and you were gone! You had us so scared!"

I didn't say anything as he carried me back to the house.

"Where was she?" Jenna said, running up to us as Tyler carried me into the house.

"I found her by the fence line. She was curled up on the ground. I think she tried to climb the fence. Check her arm? She was holding it. Make sure it isn't broken?"

Tyler lay me on the sofa and Jenna sat beside me. Josh came into the living room looking concerned.

"Kid? Where'd you go! You had us all worried," Josh said.

"Sam, what happened?" Jenna asked. I couldn't answer. Because really, nothing happened. She pulled my jacket sleeve off gently and looked at my arm. She touched it, moved my wrist. I pulled it back.

"Hurt your wrist? Ty," she said to him. "Get an ice pack? Looks like maybe a sprain. It's not broken I don't think."

She turned back to me.

"Samantha, what happened today?"

My tears, which had been threatening since Tyler found me, started falling from my eyes.

Jenna pulled me up into a hug and rocked me while I cried. Stupid thing is I don't even know why I'm crying.

"Shh. Shh. It's okay. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out, okay? You're okay. You're safe," Jenna cooed quietly in my ear. She held me while I cried. When was the last time anyone held me while I cried? I couldn't remember.

Eventually, the tears stopped. Jenna kept hugging me for a little while. She pulled back when she realized I'd stopped crying and wiped a stray tear from my cheek and smiled at me.

"I guess you needed that, huh?" She smiled.

I shrugged.

"So, what happened? Hmm? Think you can tell us?"

"Nothing happened," I said.

"I know when nothing happens, the first thing I do is run away, and then cry," Josh said.

"Not helping Joshua Dun," Jenna frowned at him.

"So," Jenna said to me. "If nothing happened, what's this all about?"

I shrugged.

"Uh huh," she said.

"Really. Nothing really happened. One kid called me a freak, but that's about it. I'm behind in most of my classes and I don't know if I'll catch up. And you guys bought all that stuff that I don't deserve."

"What stuff?" Tyler asked.

"The food and the sugar free stuff. You don't have to buy that stuff. I don't deserve any of it."

"Of course you do, sweetheart," Jenna said, stroking my hair, and pulling a leaf out. "Samantha, I know it's going to take you time to realize that you are worth being cared for. That you are a bright young person and that you deserve to be healthy and happy. And we'll work with you on that. I promise. Along with Dr Freud. We're here for you. We're your parents. Or, well, we will be."

I shrugged.

"Want me to beat up the kid who called you a freak?" Josh asked.

I looked at him and smiled.

"Thanks. But I don't think that would be a good idea. One of us would get in trouble," I said.

Josh laughed.

"I think that's the most you've said directly to me since yesterday."

I smiled shyly.

"So," Jenna said. "Let's start over. How was school? Who's your new friend?"

"School was okay. We're reading a pretty good book in English and I was only supposed to read the first two chapters to catch up, but I'm almost finished the whole book. I read it during PE because I don't have a kit yet, so I couldn't participate."

"You read nearly a whole book in an hour?" Jenna said.

"Almost," I said. "I think I have one or two chapters left."

"That's impressive," she said.

"It's not a long book," I said.

"Still," Jenna said. "Oh! Hey, are you hungry? It's been a while since lunch. Come into the kitchen. Let's check your sugar and get you a snack. Then you can tell me the rest of your day."

Tyler helped me up and the four of us went into the kitchen. I checked my blood sugar which was okay. Jenna made me a snack of baby carrots and hummus and a few pita crackers. She read the serving size and then gave me the box and container so I could calculate my insulin.

I turned the dial to the correct amount on the first try. I saw Jenna smile at Tyler.

"So," Jenna said. "Who's your new friend?"

"I don't know if she's my friend yet, but her name is Jill and she kind of latched on to me in English and showed me where my classes were. Adam picks on her, too."

"Who's Adam?" Tyler asked.

"The kid who called me a freak," I said.

"Why did he call you a freak?"

"I didn't talk to anyone today. Not even the teachers. I couldn't. I was too nervous," I said, lowering my head. They'd be mad that I didn't at least try to be normal.

"That's understandable," Tyler said. "New school, new people. It's been a bumpy few days. You've had a lot of stuff going on. I'm not surprised you were a bit nervous. Especially coming in and not necessarily being on the same page as your classes. You'll catch up if you're behind. And if you need it, we'll get you a tutor."

"You don't need to do that," I said.

"No. But we will if it will help you catch up, depending on how far behind you are. I mean, it's only October. You can't be that far behind. And you only missed a week," Tyler said.

"You can do it, sweetie," Jenna smiled. "I know you can."

"Me too. You're smart. You don't give yourself enough credit, but you're, like, wicked smart," Josh said.

Maybe they were right. No. They couldn't be. I'm just a stupid girl. I'll probably wind up flunking out of middle school.