Running on Insulin

Chapter 26

We got home from the mall and tested Samantha's sugar. She was in range, so we sat down and watched some TV. Samantha was very quiet. 

"Hey, Samantha," Jenna said. "Do you want a snack before bed?" 

"No, thank you," she said. 

"You should probably  have something before bed, no?"

"I'll be okay," she said. 

"Everything okay, sweetheart?" Jenna asked. 

"Yeah," Samantha said. 

"You can tell us if there are any problems, sweetheart," Jenna said. 

I saw tears welling up in her eyes and pulled her closer. 

"Hey, what's up? What's this about?"

"I don't deserve how nice you're being to me. When are you going to stop being nice and realize I'm just a useless, stupid girl who's no good for anything?"

I hugged her tight to me. 

"I know that's what your dad told you, but he was wrong. Samantha, you are smart. You are worth everything. I don't know why you wound up in our yard, but I think it was meant to be. We needed you, and you needed us.  Like I told you before, we agreed to foster you without even discussing it first. We agreed to adopt you without really talking about it. You are, apparently, meant to be our kid. And we are going to show you what life is like when people appreciate who you are and what you can do."

"I can't do anything," she said. 

"What do you mean you can't do anything?" I asked. "I've watched you look at a menu or a label, and calculate the carbs to insulin that you need. In. Your. Head. I need a calculator for one plus one."

Samantha giggled. 

"Sweetie," Jenna said, coming beside Sam and I. "Your dad said and did a lot of things that made you think the things that you think.  But I promise you, you are an amazing young woman. We're going to show you. You've got us, you've got Dr. Freud and we're going to work with you and show you just how amazing you really are. Okay?"

Samantha smiled, and nodded. 

"Now, why don't we check your blood sugar and have a quick snack, so hopefully you'll keep your blood sugar in range overnight. Cool?"

Samantha sighed, then nodded.  She and Jenna went into the kitchen where I heard them talking. Jenna asked what Samantha would like and offered a couple of options.  I went in a couple of minutes later and saw Samantha having some peanut butter and crackers. 

"Yum. That looks like a good snack," I said, taking a cracker out of the box and smearing peanut butter on it. "Ooh. Good choice for a bedtime snack. Want some milk or something though?"

Samantha pointed at the glass of milk beside her. 

"Well, I'm observant, aren't I," I said. "Did you test and take your insulin?" 

Samantha nodded and Jenna nodded, too. 

"And her long acting as well," Jenna smiled. 

We sat and snacked and talked until Samantha finished her snack. 

"Now, it's getting a little late, why don't you head up to bed, and we'll come say good night to you in a little while, okay?"

"Okay," she said, standing up. 

"Hey," I said picking up the bag from Apple. "Don't forget this. Oh - I guess we need to get you a desk, huh? We didn't put a desk in that room."

Samantha took the computer and went upstairs. 

We watched her as she went up the stairs. 

Jenna leaned in to me and sighed. 

"We have a lot of work to do with her. Just when she seems to be coming around, she starts talking down about herself."

"I know. That's something Dr. Freud is going to have to help us with as well as her," I said. 

"I hope we can get through to her.  I hope she can heal," Jenna said. 

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Samantha's POV

Jenna and Tyler have been so awesome to me. They couldn't see how little of what they gave me I actually deserved.  

I looked at the computer they'd bought me as I put it on the dresser. They'd bought me a phone, and now a computer. They were planning to adopt me. But they couldn't see that I didn't deserve any of this. 

I changed into pajamas and brushed my teeth. I climbed into bed and turned out the lamp on the bedside table. 

I couldn't imagine what Jenna and Tyler's motives were. At some point something was going to happen and I'd find out what their true nature was.  Dad had always told me, no one would ever want me. Me, a stupid girl even more of a problem with my stupid diabetes. A useless, stupid  and now expensive girl. 

I sighed. I'd find out soon enough, I figured, what exactly Jenna and Tyler were up to. 

No one is this nice, are they? To take in a complete stranger? And now they want to adopt me, since apparently Dad's parental rights have been terminated. 

Except they haven't, really, have they? I'll bet either he's arranged all this somehow, or he'll weasel his way out and get me back somehow.  

I'd just have to keep my guard up. Always. It might be safer for me if I run away. I'll have to keep my eyes and ears open. 

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Jenna's POV

Tyler and I went upstairs to bed about an hour after Samantha had gone up. I poked my head in her room and saw she was asleep. I went in to check on her, and she was breathing evenly, curled up into a tiny ball, as if she were protecting herself even in her sleep. I kissed her forehead and put a bottle of water on the night table beside her. Just in case she got thirsty in the night. The poor kid has been through so much, as much as she seems to trust us, she also seems to be very guarded and convinced something's going to happen to her. It made me so sad to see how difficult life was for her. Accepting even the kindest of gestures was difficult for her. 

"She asleep?" Tyler whispered from the doorway. 

"Yeah," I said, leaving the room. I left the door open partway, in case Samantha had a nightmare and needed us. 

"I'll set an alarm for two am again, check her blood sugar and make sure she's still in range," I said.