✔Oddball Oneshots [And scenarios]

Protection [IkeVamp]

Supermarket
Karen
IkeVamp
Insult
Reactions
:/

Requested by: Simp__For__Eren

Thank you so much for your request, it was pretty fun to do!! :)

Enjoy!♡♡
Setting: modern-day?idk
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"Y/N, I'm kind of hungry.."

"I'm too tired for this and its too earlyyyy... Why do you guys have to wake up so frickin early?... Ahhh, why now??" I say, after opening the pantry.

"Hm? What is it, Y/N?"

"We ran outta food. We're gonna die-"

"Chill, and relax. We'll get through this."

"Ohh, no. F this. I'm goin' to town to get some food. Who wants to come with?"

They all raise their hands. I picked my chosen one and headed out.

-timeskip-

"Why is the milk always so far away? Its like they're trying to subtly entice you to buy other things! This is why I never go shopping without a list."

"Y/N I'm concerned. The milk was that way."

"Ah shit. We left without the most important thing? Milk? You've gotta be shitting me."

"You're cursing a ton. I take this as a warning not to cross you."

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock." I turn around and face him, holding out the bag of gold goodies, food. "I'm gonna go back into that hellhole and grab the milk, 'kay?" He nods and takes the bags from me.

"I'll be waiting for you."

"I expect no less."

-Timeskip-

"I got the forgotten item!~ And I kind of stole a soap bar, but no one knows-" I stop dead in my tracks, my happy mood fading.

There, a few feet away from me, was the disease the plagues this planet.

A Karen.

I had no qualms about one being near, but what ticked me off once more was that she was next to my boyfriend. SO much closer than I would've liked.

I knew this was the first time they've met, I think, judging by his facial expression, like 'help me a disgusting worm has made itself known to my life'.

I sigh and *lightly* tap the woman on the shoulder.

"Excuse me ma'am, please step away from him a sizable distance. He is my boyfriend, so I don't understand why you look like you're trying to force yourself upon him. By the way, you did a great job resisting and staying in place. I'm in a happier mood now." I tell her off, whispering my praise to him.

But she didn't leave.

"You? His girlfriend? The odds of that seem pretty low." She grins. "I mean, look at you. Compare yourself to me. I look superior. I mean, really, I am. Oh, but not only do I look prettier, but I look smarter than you too."

I want to say something back when he turns to me with a look that he'll vanquish this evil from our sights.

Napoleon: 😐
-"..Lame. Listen, Y/N's been through a tough morning so I would appreciate it if you just apologized and walked away."
-puts an arm around you and walks away, holding you close
-has to turn around bc he went the wrong way

Mozart: 😑🙄
-"Horrible, absolutely appalling. You're making a fool of yourself. I'm taken, so stay away from us."
-tries to wipe off the germs bc the bitch prob didnt wash her hands, u never know :/
-you both walk away back to the mansion

Leonardo: 😒
-"Cara mia's had a rough day, so leave her be, yeah? If you want to pick a fight, do it elsewhere that's out of our sight and hearing capabilities."
-holds your hand and takes you away
-waiting for you that whole time was worth showing off a little

Arthur: 😒😐
-"Now, although I admit you look prettier than my Y/N, your attitude doesn't match your face. Say, what do you use on your face? Oh. Well, I reccomend eating it. You never know, it just might rid you of your hideous behaviour."
-flashes you a kind smile, holds you hand and pulls you along, taking you on a shortcut to the mansion
-you guys went sightseeing bc u got lost instead and forgot about the milk lmao

Vincent: 🙂🔪
-"Excuse me, please repeat that once more, slowly. Oh, and do it loudly so everyone can hear you. Hm. I didnt think you'd actually do it. Ahaha, you look kind of like my dead friend. I think they might actually want to meet you."
-flashes a quick glare before returning it to a happy face
-takes you by the hand and leads you away

Theodorus: 😠
-"No one talks to Y/N that way. No one disrespects Y/N that way. No one has the right to feel me up like you did except Y/N, you hear me? No? Well then I'll repeat it once more. Go away and never show your face around here again. Yes, I'm telling you off. I dont want to see you again."
-puts an arm around you and walks away
-admitted he wanted to push her away but didnt want to infect his hands :P

Dazai:😃😄
-"Hm, unless I heard it incorrectly, Y/N's prettier, looks smarter, and you said to yourself you're ugly? Hm? I'm right? Thats so great! Thanks for openly admitting that you're just so insecure and lonely, that it's tainted your heart and left you prone to envy others. Go away, thank you."
-said this while smiling
-when you guys got back, he hugged you super tight

Isaac: 🙄😒
-"...You're uncomprehensive. You're sightless. You're uneducated. You have no respect. I officially hate you. Go away. Y/N's had a rough day, so if you could just withdraw and disperse, we would appreciate it. Also, have you ever heard of something called personal space? Because with you in my line of sight, I feel as though I have none."
-glared at her sassily(is that correct?lmao) as he held you close protectively
-its gonna take a while for him to calm down, so you guys head back to the mansion as quickly as possible.

Jean: 😐😑😐
-"Please leave Y/N alone. If you dont, I will not hesitate to restrain you in public. Please leave. Yes, just like that. Go away. ..Begone from our sight, foul beast."
-for the rest of the walk home, he watched the surroundings and even commented on the handiwork of the road people
-took a detour to a small café and returned home without drinks for everyone but Napoleon

Shakespeare: 😐🍷🔥
-"Pardon me, but I'm afraid we'll have to exit the scene now."
-escaped quickly
-literally tracked her down and poisoned the food, leaving no trace of himself and burning down the whole building to remove everything else

Saint-Germain: 🙃
-"Apologies for this small interruption just to tell you to back off, but I'm afraid I am occupied. My schedule's full. Ah, we have to leave. Let's go."
-thought she got the message, but apparently, she dumber than she looks-
-lets not disclose what happened next, yeah? Cuz aparently Saint-Germain isnt such a saint after all lmao

Sebastian: ✌😗🖕
-"...(*flick*) Mmm, I disagree. Y/N's been through a whole lotta shit, believe me. Oh, what is it? Shit? Lemme show you, you disgusting, ugly, fried banana.*gives her a mirror* You know what it looks like now, right?"
-leaves with you
-apologized for swearing in front of you while you had nothing to cover ur ears with

~~--Fin.--~~

A/N: If I missed anyone, I apologize!! Thank you for your patience, and a note:

To the kind people out there, I'm sorry if this chapter seemed mean. It was meant to be for comical purposes.

With that said, stay safe, and stay Fanantical everyone!! I also encourage u to get vaccinated so you have at least one way to protect yourself and ur body. Have a wonderful day/night! :D