The Boy Who Made Flowers Sing

16 | Roses and Thorns

VULGAR LANGUAGE WARNING:

As they walked back, Elena was still dazed. It was such a beautiful thing to watch. She couldn't express how much she wanted to press the restart button on her life. She didn't want to live with regrets forever. She wanted to be re-born just like the magpies. 

She was a constant disappointment to her mother.

As they walked back, Elena suddenly had a flashback of her argument with her mother. She hated remembering it, but it was so hard to push it out of her mind.

"Elena!" Her mother had screamed. "Don't you walk away from me!"

Elena had slammed the door to her room harder than she had wanted to. She had quickly locked it. Elena had burst into tears and she had been hyperventilating from a panic attack.

"Open the door, Elena!" Her mom had banged on the door. "I've had enough!"

Elena winced. Even now, she could hear the anger and pain in her mother's sharp, frustrated voice.

"I can't!" Elena had sobbed. "Please!"

"No, Elena! When my daughter shows up at 4:00 AM in the middle of the freaking night, I will not just leave her alone!"

Elena ran her hands through her hair and paced the room. She quickly emptied her pockets of drugs and slammed them into her dresser drawer.

"Elena!" Her mother had said. "Open the door, damn it!"

She had opened it. Elena's mother had huffed in frustration.

"Cut the bullshit. Where the hell were you?!"

Elena didn't reply; she sank to the floor. She had had an already bad day. Her mother's anger rose with Elena's terror.

"Answer me, Elena!" Her mother yelled louder.

Her mother's wild eyes and red, frustrated face terrified Elena. The darkness in the room seemed to make her mother tower over her like an ominous monster.

"At, at, a party with Kennedy. It was at Cheryl's house," Elena didn't lie this time.

Her mother probably had known where she was.

"This is the third time, Elena! You take full advantage of the fact that I have night shifts at work, don't you? Shame on you! Do you have any amount of respect?!"

Her mother was so frustrated.

"I'm sorry," Elena said quietly. "It won't happen again. This is the last time."

Elena was lying but she hated conflict. Her mother had put her hands on her hips and looked sternly at her.

"You have school tomorrow, Elena! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry won't cut it. You're grounded. No going out for a month. Focus on school."

Elena's eyes widened.

"And I swear, Elena, if you protest, I'm gonna make it two months!"

Elena had kept her mouth shut. Elena wasn't worried about the parties; she was worried about the drugs. But, her friends had quietly slipped them through the window for the next 30 days or exchanged them in the school parking lot. They were great friends, Elena scoffed, making sure their friend had enough to get high on.

"What would your father think?!" Her mother shouted.

Her mother was not calming down. She hated the guilt trip she was sending her on.

"Huh?!" She yelled again, frustrated. "Instead of becoming more responsible, you've completely changed, Elena! You don't care about anything or anyone."

Elena didn't say anything. She had learned to become numb to what her mother said. It was the only way to deal with her outrageous anger after her father passed.

"We don't-," Her mother suddenly teared up and shook her head. "We're broke, Elena!"

Elena looked up at her mother whose hair was disheveled. Elena pulled her knees closer to her chest.

"We don't get your father's insurance money," Her mother was quiet all of a sudden, out of energy.

She defeatedly sat down on Elena's bed.

"Your father made a mistake on the disability insurance papers. We're not eligible."

Her mother looked away and held back more tears. Elena sighed. She was too tired to be mad or sad. She didn't know how to react to the situation and she hated when her mother expressed her emotions. She wondered who needed more therapy: She or her mother?

"Go to sleep," Elena's mom had sharply said, her emotions taking a 180-degree turn.

Elena winced as her mother had stormed out of her room. Elena closed her eyes and shook the dreadful memory out of her head.

"Elena?" Andreas said, looking at her lost face. "You good?"

Elena shook her head. "Yeah, sorry."

"Let's go."

You're important too, Elena, Andreas had said.

It was a simple sentence and yet it was what she needed to hear. She couldn't stop thinking about it. The way Andreas had casually said it to her and yet so sincerely, made Elena's hardened heart melt a bit.

"Andreas! Elena!" A familiar voice yelled from across the field.

It was Anna. She vigorously waved her arm and grinned from ear to ear. Her parents laughed at her enthusiasm.

"Come on," Andreas waved towards the little girl.

"You go," Elena said. "I'll be right there."

Andreas nodded understandingly. She was grateful to be alone for a bit. If Andreas had stayed any longer, perhaps she would've spilled everything and then regretted it. Elena sat down and picked at the blades of grass. She watched a ladybug crawl across one. Elena listened to the faint wind as she picked up a lavender tulip and admired it. She should be grateful she was here. Elena realized she had shunned herself from feeling happy at all. She was too afraid to be happy because if she became too excited, she felt like everything would disappear.