The Boy Who Made Flowers Sing

14 | Melissa

She awoke at 3:00 AM. Elena could still feel anger seething through her body. She sprung out of her warm bed hastily and unzipped her tent. She stepped outside into the pitch black with her flashlight in the cool night.

A couple of fireflies swarmed around her and a waxing crescent moon illuminated her pathway.  Elena looked around at the tents, their fabrics slightly blowing in the breeze. The forest looked eerie at this time with creepy figures made by the bending trees and foliage. The branches looked like long arms reaching down to grab her. 

Elena took a deep breath, taking in the misty air. She quietly stepped onto the grass and flashed her light into the green thicket. As she stepped in, she heard the sound of a small stream. The sound grew louder as she continued and tried not to disturb the dormant wildlife. 

After a couple of minutes, she found the shimmering stream. The moon's light shone through without being covered by the big leafy crowns of the overhead palm trees. The moon was 10 times the size of what she usually saw. She could see the glinting stream running on top of the rocks clearly without the flashlight. The place was extraordinary. 

Elena looked to the other side to see a beautiful deer looking directly at her. It stared back at her eyes, almost trying to scrutinize her predicament. She peeled her eyes away from the deer and looked back at the steady stream.

She could hear the rhythmic sounds of nocturnal animals periodically piercing the deafening silence.

Elena turned her head around and looked behind her into the forest. It looked haunting without the light. She wasn't scared though. Instead, she felt nothing. 

It was the word that described her most of the time. With drugs, it was euphoria she felt. She craved that feeling. She would finally feel joy and happiness for a couple of hours a day. It was indescribable. It would shut out the darkness of the world and fill her head with bright lights.

She imagined herself in her room again, staring up at the ceiling and feeling like she was on top of the world. Or perhaps even higher than that. Sometimes, she would climb out of her window and sit on the roof on summer nights peering at the empty highway in the pitch black.  It was such a vivid memory she could actually feel the pill going down her throat and watching the highway lights distort into pleasing images.

And it was the very thing that destroyed her. Most days, she would lie in her bed with the most vivid thoughts and daydreams. It was amazing to feel nothingness. But when it was over, she felt numb and empty - like all the feelings in her body had been sucked out of her; like she didn't even exist anymore. And in reality, she really felt like she didn't exist. Every day was a repeat like a broken record. It was a dangerous lie that she prolonged for the longest time. And it consumed her to the point that destroyed everything in her path: relationships, school, and herself. When she looked at her eyes in the mirror, she didn't recognize that person anymore. Her hair had fallen out in disproportionate amounts and her lips were chapped and thin. 

Whenever she felt like she was having a bad day with negative thoughts swimming in her head, the little, orange-tinted bottle was her best friend. But now, after Melissa's passing and so much therapy, Elena was terrified. Imagining her friend passed out on her bedroom floor with a bottle of pills in her hand sent a shudder down her spine. 

She tried not to remember how she found out about Melissa's death, but Dr. Jennette had told her to let memories flow.

She was intoxicated as usual with the window fully open to let in the warm breeze. She worried about Melissa after finding out about Evelyn. She lay in her bed and heard her phone go off. It rang three times but her mind wasn't capable of even picking up the phone. She read the messages from Cheryl but couldn't interpret them.