The Boy Who Made Flowers Sing

33 | Mother

Elena sat beside Kennedy in the hospital room the next day. She had apologized for her outburst to Kennedy's mom, Joel, and offered to stay for a bit. Her mother had gone home to grab some things. Elena looked at the heart monitor and the IV line strapped to her friend whose pallor terrified her. Elena had been in the hospital too many times the past two years and the environment wasn't growing on her. 

Kennedy opened up her drowsy eyes and looked at Elena.

"Hey El," She said in a croaky voice.

"Hey Kennedy," Elena looked down and smiled at her, still terrified. "Thank goodness you're okay."

Kennedy let out a deep breath and noticed Elena's puffy face. "I fucked up real bad this time, didn't I?"

Elena nodded. "You were in a coma for a couple of hours. You gave me a heart attack."

"Say it then," Kennedy croaked. "Drop the f-bomb. Call me a fucking loser."

"What were you thinking?!" Elena frowned at her, trying to read her poker face. 

Kennedy let out a painful laugh which led to a hoarse cough. "I honestly don't even know what happened, but I'm guessing I OD'd."

Kennedy laughed again and took a deep breath. "Fuck, I sound like a frog."

"Kennedy, I'm serious," Elena said, bewildered at her casual response. "I thought you-"

Elena stopped herself before she got too emotional. "Why were you in the middle of the woods?!"

Kennedy shrugged and looked out the window. A few moments of silence were exchanged between them and within that gap, several emotions and unanswered questions hung in the air. 

"I just thought," Kennedy looked at her with immense pain in her blue eyes. "I just wanted...Just wanted to know if...I had a place in this world."

Her eyes welled up with tears and she let them fill. "I just thought if I took a couple more pills, I'd somehow find the answer...To everything."

Elena squeezed her hand to comfort her. "Why did you think that?"

"I don't know. I don't know...What's wrong with me," Kennedy frowned and shook her head, feeling frustrated with herself. 

"Pills are never the answer," Elena said.

Kennedy shook her head and stared at the chair across from her. "I just want...To breathe. I don't want to just survive. I want to live."

Elena stared at her defeated face and knew exactly what she meant.

"I know what you mean," Elena said, sincerely nodding at her. "But, this isn't the answer. I need you, Kennedy. You're important to me. Do you understand? Don't you ever do something so dumb again."

Kennedy hesitated and then let out a weak laugh. "From one drug addict to another, that's solid advice."

"Do you promise?" Elena ignored her comment and asked her seriously.

"I promise," Kennedy said, looking away from her.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door before it swung open. A frazzled-looking Joel stood at the door with a giant purse slung over her shoulder. The dark circles under her blue eyes indicated she hadn't had a good night's rest in a long time.

Joel tiredly smiled at them both. "Thanks for staying, Elena."

The poor woman stood in the doorway completely flustered. She was still trying to process her daughter's overdose. Elena felt ashamed for yelling at her and burned with embarrassment.

Elena stood up and faintly smiled at her friend. "See you. I'll stop by tomorrow."

Kennedy slowly nodded and closed her eyes. Elena stood outside her hospital room and watched Kennedy's mother sit by her daughter, tenderly holding her hand and kissing her forehead. It made Elena tear up.

 She slowly walked out of the unit, her arms crossed and breathing heavily. The beeping of monitors, the skittering nurses, the smell of hand sanitizer, and boxes of latex gloves triggered memories of her father laying on the hospital cot. She hurried as fast as she could down the fluorescently lit hall towards the exit to escape haunting memories.

Her mom was waiting at the entrance and as soon as Elena saw her, she ran up to her and tightly hugged her. Her mother kissed her forehead.

"You okay?" She asked, cupping Elena's face in her hands.

Elena nodded and hugged her again, desperately needing that warm embrace.