The Boy Who Made Flowers Sing

5 | Beggars Can Be Choosers

The heavy expectations thrust upon Elena terrified her. She was expected to "get over it" or "at least, try to be happy" and was told to "get out of her head" and "stop being so sensitive." She needed time, but her friends and family were impatient. She was a symbol of mourning that no one wanted to deal with. She was an overwhelming mess.

She didn't want to deal with her miserable self either. She would come home, laughing and inebriated in the middle of the night, her arms flailing and her shoulders banging into walls as she climbed the stairs to her room. She kept her hair unkempt, wore only baggy clothing, and was consumed by night terrors that only pills could hush.

"I need you to fill out some forms, Elena," Her mother said, holding a stack of papers in one hand and a coffee mug in the other on a Sunday morning. 

She sadly smiled and looked at the photo of Elena's father sitting on the counter. "Oh. And can you run to the post office for me to drop off some completed forms today?"

Her mother skittered across the kitchen floor like the CEO of a major business. There were stacks of paper everywhere fanned out across the counters and kitchen table. Elena sat in the living room across from her mother and stared past her out the kitchen window. Her mother's words were going through one ear and out the other as Elena was absentminded.

Her mother put her right hand on her hip and shifted her weight to one side. "Elena, are you listening to me?"

She snapped her fingers. "Elena!"

Elena jumped in her seat and faced her mother's disheveled and frustrated appearance.

Her mother shook her head and huffed. "C'mon. I need you to cooperate."

"Sorry," Elena quickly said and brushed the mop of hair out of her face.

"It's been months, Elena," She said softly. "I know you feel pretty upset. And you've had two recent losses. That's not easy. But, the only way to get out is to face reality again."

She smiled at her daughter. "I need you to help me."

She held out a piece of paper for Elena. "I need you to sign below the first line. And then go to the post office, please. But before you go, please wear something...Nice. And brush your hair. You're such a mess!"

Elena hated conflict and usually obeyed her mother's requests. But with so many emotions swirling in her mind, every muscle in her body was telling her that she needed to run.

So, she did.  She turned around and looked at her mother before closing the front door. "I need some air."

"Elena! Elena, you-"

Elena closed the door and ran down the front stairs. Her windbreaker whipped through the cooling autumn air as she ran to the bus stop a couple of blocks away. Her mother sat down on the kitchen stool, feeling drained and holding her head in her hands.

Elena instinctively decided she needed to see Dr. Jennette. She had said Elena could come in without an appointment. She took the bus, then the subway, and walked into the clinic with the smiling Buddha statue at the front. She headed up the stairs and ran down the hallway. When she opened the door handle, she saw no one else was waiting. The receptionist smiled at her but apologized when she realized Elena didn't have an appointment.

"I need to see Dr. Jennette," Elena pleaded, frantically panting.

"I'm sorry, hun. You're going to need to make an appointment," The blonde woman replied. "I can book you in for next week?"