My Alpha (Girlxgirl)

Chapter 15: The Silver Wolf

Chapter 15

I layed on the bed, with the most beautiful art created laid beside me. My head was turned to this art, looking straight into her piercing blue eyes. The eyes I just couldn’t seem to look away from. They are truly mesmerizing.

“I don’t know.” Megan responded to my question earlier, barely above a whisper. Her head was turned to me but after saying those three words, her head tilted lower, her eyes following. She looked down, seemingly to not be able to look me in the eyes. She knew the reason but she didn’t want to tell me.

“You know.” I spoke. Her eyes looked up and met mine again. “But, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain it now.”

“Thank you.”

It was quiet now. We both laid on the bed, parallel to one another, not touching each other. But, her body was facing me and it wasn’t too long until she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

Somewhere inside me was glad that she stopped. If things had kept on going, it may have not had the right outcome. I just came to this pack and I can’t cause problems. I completely walked out of my birth pack just a few hours ago and there is no going back and even if there is, I don’t want to. I can’t go back there. I can’t look at my parents. I can’t see there faces and think the same of them. They made me feel alone all my life. I had a twin sister. I have a twin sister and all this time, I had never knew she existed until a few weeks ago and through that time, I hated and despised her.

This pack, Megan, was all I had right now. I couldn’t let anything get between it. I’d rather stay as the alpha, beta relationship with her.

I watched Megan sleep peacefully, and as always, it was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

All the sudden, a thought of Kiera came to mind again, sending knives in my chest. My body, jumped off the bed. I sat on the soft mattress, running my hand through my hair trying to push the thoughts of Kiera out of my head but not getting anywhere because my heart was already aching again. That the drug of Megan had already worn off and all the reality of life has come back to my thoughts. I turned my head to see Megan still sound asleep, and quickly got off the bed and out the room.

As I went to my own room and my bed, the sudden of loneliness began of overwhelm me again. But, it was worse this time and I didn’t know why. A part of me wanted to go back to that room and lay with Megan all night and another part of me, a stronger part of me knows that in doing so, it could hurt me more if I stayed beside her than it would walking out. I was scared. I was scared to feel again. I was scared that if I let myself feel even the slightest thing, it’ll all crash down. I was scared that if good things do happen they will go away. It is better to have nothing than to have something and watch it fade away. I was scared that the more I feel, the more I will hurt and I know that’s true. I remember how Kiera made me feel. How she made my world and my life complete and I remember how it felt when I lost her. I remember how losing her made my world shatter. I remember like it was yesterday and I still feel it.

It hurts. In ways I can’t even describe.

I got off the bed, and went to my car. I took out my phone, dialing a number.

‘Hello?’

“Yo Mich, you still got some bud on you?”

‘Yeah, I got some Vodka too’

“Aii, I’ll be there.” I hung up and continued to drive in the dark night, under the stars.

- - - - - - - - - - -

After I had left the cabin last night I went by Mich’s house. An old friend of mine since 7th grade and a friend that supplies me with all my 'necessities'. We spent the rest of the night watching White Chicks, a movie I could watch 20 times and still laugh as much as I did on the first. We got high, got drunk and watched some funny movies.