My Alpha (Girlxgirl)

Chapter 23: One thing I'm sure of

Chapter 23:

Okay, today is that day. Like what nadine said, I need to stop being afraid. I know what I want. I know who I want.

This is what life is. When you're afraid of something, you look for distractions. Yes, I do need to bring Carmen back, I do need my little sister more than anything but I also need her more than anything. I need Megan.

Kiera was there for me. Kiera was the first person who saved me from my fucked up life. Kiera was the one who made me happy when the thought of death didn't even phase me. Do you know what it's like? To wake up in the morning with emptiness. You have no reason to live, you have no reason to smile, you have no reason to be sad either. It was all lonely emptiness. Before you meet that someone in your life, you don't even realize you have been living in that black and white world all your life. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but it wasn't until I met Kiera that color came to my world. I started seeing everything in this new perspective that I had never seen before.

But time flew and I realized the love I felt for her faded. If I were to look back, it wasn't love that ran through my veins but emptiness being filled. She filled that emptiness in my soul and planted flowers in it, made it most vibrant. Kiera still means the world to me. She means more to me than words can put but right now the one that I love may not be her.

I don't think it's love yet but I think it's the closest to love I had ever felt all my life and this feeling I feel is only for Megan. Megan is the only person who can do this to me. It's not because she filled an empty hole in my heart, it's not because of her perfect features, it's not because she is an alpha but because she is just simply her. I can't put it into right words but Megan just being Megan was enough to make me feel close to love.

I want to tell her. I can't do this anymore. Yes, I'm being selfish. I am aware. But, for once in my life I am not afraid, for once in my life, I really know what I want. I want Megan. I want to keep holding her, I want to just stare at her perfect eyes, I just want to be around her. I don't even need to kiss her or anything like that, I just want to be in her presence.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Snapping me back to reality, I turned my head to look at the tan girl with curly dark brown hair sitting beside me, looking at me with an awe expression on her features.

"I know what I want Yaz, and I want to tell her." Sitting in the classroom, Yasmine's awe expression began to turn into a sympathetic one. "What?"

"I don't want to kill your plans but the girl did lose her life for you. She left everything she knew so she could protect you." I felt my heart drop to the inner core of this fucked up planet. "I'm not saying you have to chose kiera, I'm not saying you have to chose Megan either. I'm just saying, don't do something you might regret."

"Yasmine, I know I'm being selfish but I just can't keep lying to myself. It's really killing me."

"Just do what you think is right but have no regrets Ems. I know you." I nodded my head. The bell rang and I walked out of the classroom and into the annoying high school hallway. As I walked, my eyes wondered around, looking for Carmen. I had to bring her to the abandoned farm today and I actually can't wait. I needed to find her. I wanted to see her. Soon, after 10 minutes of walking around that felt like 2 hours, the crowded hallway began to subside and the blonde girl came to view. She was already walking towards me. I felt a tap on my shoulder, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I nodded my head at my best friend as she walked away.

"What do you think about the deal we had?"

"We didn't really make the deal but we agreed. But, it has to be in our terms."

We both walked out of the school together and into the large parking lot. I wanted to start a conversation but I didn't know what to say. I was nervous. There was so much I needed and wanted to tell her but I just couldn't. The words couldn't form in my mouth. We got into my car and the silence just couldn't get anymore awkward.