Geek God and Xander Zee [ZaintSee]

Chapter 18

It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be, Hwahwa and Day kept us engaged by doing something or the other, I've never been to a party but I'm starting to like this one if it is really called a party that is. Because it was only the four of us. As the time went by there was karaoke, Zee and I just sat and watched the couple being the craziest people on planet earth.

"Jingle bells, batman smells, Robin laid an egg, batmobile, broke its wheel, joker got away..." Day and Hwahwa sang on the mic together. I choked on the drink and started to cover my mouth and laugh when I heard the lyrics. Zee was laughing too, but he was sweet enough to help me by rubbing my back since I choked.

And that did it all, that one touch, I started to feel hot, I think the air conditioner was not functioning properly. I could feel his hand move up and down my back, he wasn't trying to soothe me any longer, he was trying to reclaim everything he missed in the past months. His hand lingered a little too long and then when I coughed and sat up straight and he took that hint and kept his hand closer to himself after that.

Soon I got the attention of the host and said "I am tired, I wanna go home and get some sleep"

"Aow, you leaving too early, stay for a bit more" Hwahwa pleaded, but I couldn't anymore with the memories flooding back and yearning for Zee's warmth.

"I want to but, I'm really tired I need to go"

"You can stay here," Day said, I looked at Zee, he was looking at me, I know that look, it was 'I need you now... Please' look, I gulped at that and said.

"no, I have something to do so I better leave"

"Hmm okay then, merry Christmas" Hwahwa said.

"How are you going?" Zee asked, that was the first time he spoke to me directly this evening.

"Umm, Day's SUV... The driver will take me back" I said, trying not to look at him longer than necessary.

"Can I drop you?" He asked

"That's okay, I don't want to trouble you," I said because I thought that's how you let someone down politely, but his expression changed into something unreadable it was somewhere in between 'you have never been a trouble for me' and 'how the fuck can you say something like that?'

"Oh come on, just let him take you," Hwahwa said to break the silence and I did not agree but Zee just led the way to his car. I noticed that he had bought a new one, the one I always picked first in a game. We got in and he drove towards my condo, the place where we used to live in the starting stage of our relationship.

The silence was filled in the car, but I could see Zee visibly trembling next to me in the driver seat, well I had emotions running within me too, but I was strong enough to not show it, but it was different with Zee, I can't guess what is going in his mind to make him clutch the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were white and his leg constantly tapping.

"Are you okay?" I asked

"Huh, yeah... I am" he turned the Aircon on and set the temperature very low, he shuffled to grab a water bottle and struggled to open it.

"Let me help you with that," I said and I just took it from him without thinking anything. His eyes were on the road but he was completely red. I opened the bottle and handed it to him. He just took it from me and gulped down the whole thing.

It was so weird right now, I know that both have this urge to kiss until our mouths break and strip completely and get fucking in the back seat. But both are controlling, he is so near but yet so far away from my reach.

"Some of your stuff is still at home, do you want me to get it down for you?" I said when we finally reached.

He took a moment and said "I want to take it down myself"

"No it's okay, I can get it down" he did not let me speak much he just got down and walked to the elevator. I couldn't do anything but follow him quietly.

We were alone in the elevator, I did not care anymore. When everyone can break us apart and go back to their normal life, why can't we be back to normal again, why do we have to deal with so much pain when both of us don't want to stay apart. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but he just stood there with his hands in his pocket looking at me, so I couldn't do it.

The elevator opened and we walked up to my door, I looked at him, he looked like he was on the verge of pulling me closer to him, so I said "umm, wait here, I will get your stuff, the room is a little messy" saying that I walked in.

I felt an arm grab me when I was inside and I was pulled to kiss Zee's lips. He was here, desperately kissing me like there was no tomorrow. I couldn't believe it was happening again, the pain vanished for a moment and I gave in. I kissed him back and shared a sloppy desperate kiss with his tongue trying to explore the place it hadn't gone in a long time. Our hands were everywhere, on my butt, on his hair, on my nape, on his chest. He chewed on my lip and made it bleed, he only pulled me by my hair when he seemed to have tasted blood. He looked at me for a second and I looked at him through half-lidded eyes, we kissed again but this time it was slow and soon became hungry like hoping to make the best out of this moment as much as we can. He kneaded my butt and pressed his pelvis close to mine, that's when I realized why he was acting all weird in the car, he is hard as fuck right now and was dry humping me trying to get as much friction to calm him.

I finally came to my senses when he was leading me to the bed, I broke the kiss and looked at him while breathing heavily, "we shouldn't do this" I said realizing that it is only going to break me that he will have to leave soon.

His fingers tried to claw and grasp me, he was trying to take his hands off me, but his body wasn't letting him, he closed his eyes and finally stepped back bringing back the constant pain which seemed to have disappeared for a moment.

"I'm sorry, I lost control, I just couldn't stop myself. I think I should go," he said and walked out, closing the door behind him.

And that's when I knew I was the stupidest person ever to let him walk like that. I was stupid to leave him and I am again stupid to let him leave, no... I can't let that happen, I need him, I need him to be with me, I realized I couldn't stay without him anymore.

I ran and opened the door preparing myself to make a run and catch Zee, but it surprised me to see him standing right at the door. His hand was up in mid-air, trying to knock on the door, it brought back memories, this was exactly how I saw him the very first time which was followed by him kissing me immediately. But this time it was going to be a little different, just like how he barged in and kissed me, I stepped out and kissed him the same way. He was caught off-guard but quickly responded, while our lips still attached he led me inside and closed the door.

He broke for one second just to say "I missed you" and then kissed deeply, the door was latched, your clothes were removed one by one, we fell on the bed together and the rest is history.