There's No Changing Fate

(Prologue+Ch.1)

Fate is a crazy word. Some say it bounds two that are meant to be together, but can also be responsible for breaking them apart. Others say fate is the reason all things happen, and no matter how hard you try, you can't change it. I say fate is like destiny in a way, along with the phrase, 'everything happens for a reason.' We don't know what's about to come our way, but we accept that there's reason behind it, and in the end, somehow it'll all be okay.

Even as I cried in my bedroom that night, I knew it wasn't over. Better things were just starting to blossom.

~

-One-

I told myself fate was the reason Donghae and I broke up, that our relationship had run its course and there was nothing we could do about it. Sure, he was my boyfriend, but I didn't feel any different. I didn't act like how the girls on TV do when they're in a relationship- all happy, carefree, and on top of the world. I still felt the same, so I assumed I wasn't in love with him.

It wasn't until he flew back to South Korea to take care of his ill father that I realized I truly missed him. Not like elementary friendships, where on Monday all the kids tell their best friends how they couldn't stand not having play dates with each other over the weekend, but truly missed him. I missed everything about him; from passing notes in History class, to hearing his lovely voice in Chorus.

I missed his presence. The seat next to me in History was empty now, and it reminded me of Donghae all over again. After he left, he didn't contact me at all, and it made me wonder if he really did keep his promise that we would stay friends. Maybe he just didn't have the time, or he lost my number or something..

I realized I was probably never going to hear from him again about two months after he left, and it crushed me inside. I was in love with him, I knew I was, but he didn't want anything to do with me.

It took a while for me to take it all in and face reality. For a while, I felt as if I were in a dreamland with all the scenarios I'd make up in my head. All of them involved Donghae. How much I wanted to see him again, hug him again, date him again. But all the happiness these dreams caused me faded away when I remembered he didn't love me anymore. Or did he ever?

Any other guy that tried flirting with me or tried to make a move on me after that realization was shut out. I wasn't ready to start dating again. I wasn't ready to tell other men I loved them when really, I only loved my ex.

Soon enough the school year passed, and I was about to go into my Junior year. Donghae had been gone for almost ten months, and I was on edge. The separation started to have an effect on me. I missed him more than ever. Psychologists would say I had 'depression', and, maybe they were right. Nothing made me happy anymore.

I spent that night crying myself to sleep, and that night, I had one of my most vivid dreams. Donghae finally came back to the States, a new man. He cut his hair shorter and even grew out a bit of a beard! He came to visit me in the middle of class, and when I saw him, I instantly lit up.

He told me all the exciting things that happened to him while he was in South Korea and told me about two of the new friends he made. Seeing him with that grin on his face made me happy, too, and for a moment, I was sure he lifted me out of my depression.

But then he turned to me, and with the most serious face, he said, "I want you to go back with me."

I shot up out of bed before I could reply, and unfortunately everything appeared the same. It was still the middle of summer, and there was no sign of Donghae ever visiting. That's when I knew for sure he wasn't coming back, because if he had, he'd be here with me by now, like he said he'd always be.