There's No Changing Fate

(Ch.13)

-Thirteen-

Hyukjae looked over to me, almost a hint of fear in his eyes. "I've saved you from embarrassment once, I'm not doing it again."

I gave a weak smile and watched as he walked back into his room.

"So.." Donghae started, trying to break our awkward silence.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't expect to have a talk with him this soon, although it's been way overdue. How could I even start a conversation with him? 'Oh, I bet walking in on me fucking your best friend was super awkward.'

I could've just started off with the usual, 'how have you been' routine, but I was pretty sure he had gotten enough of that within the past month or so. Even though I hadn't paid as much attention to Donghae since I got with Hyukjae, I've noticed he'd been having a ton of mood swings. Maybe that's why he cried in front of me that one day..

Or, because I was a sympathetic person and I hated leaving friendships on bad terms, maybe that was the reason I could only mutter out, "Sorry."

He looked up from the hardwood floor and into my eyes. I stared back and saw a hint of pain in them. Or, maybe it was just gratitude.

"No. I'm sorry. I led you on. It wasn't fair of me, and you didn't deserve it."

My thoughts stopped. He was playing me? Why the hell did I ever want to be with someone like that?

"You don't even know what you put me through," I whispered softly, almost to the point where no one could hear it. Donghae caught it though.

"Why do you think I came back for you? I realized that I really did care about you. But, I guess when I saw you with Hyukjae that first night, I got jealous. I wanted you to be mine, I really did. But, your happiness is more important. And I see you've found that with Hyukjae."

"Soo Man says you're over me," I mumbled. Again, Donghae hears me through his hawk-like ears.

"That's what I've been telling myself. That's the only way I'll find love again, is to convince myself otherwise. It's not a very good strategy, but it works."

"You know," I spoke up. "I just want us all to be happy. No sadness, depression, guilt, anger. None of it. I just-"

"That's not how life works, Rebekah," Donghae interrupted me.

I gave him a quizzical look. What was he getting at?

"This is my punishment for how I treated you. This is what fate has in store for me."

~

We sat in an unbearable silence for what seemed like hours. I stared out the window and at the city below, occasionally stealing a glance to Donghae every once in a while. He looked miserable, and even though I didn't love him like I used to, I felt bad for him. Like a part of my heart hurt seeing someone who used to be so close to me be in so much pain.

"Can I ask you a favor?" he asked to break the deafening silence.

"Anything."

"Can I just have something to, remind me of you? I know that sounds silly and all but-"

"It's not silly," I laughed. "You can have my old coat on the coat hanger if you want. I need to get a new one anyway."

"Thanks," he replied as he finally stood. "So, I guess this is it, isn't it?"

I stood as well. "Why does this mean the end? We could stay friends, couldn't we?"

"As much as I'd love to, I know interacting with you will just make my heart ache more. It's bad enough I run into you and Hyukjae on a daily basis."

Oh. "Well, I'm here if you need anything, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do." He gave a forced smile. "I guess I'll be going then."

"Okay." I wasn't saying bye. The little part of my heart would've started aching again if I tried.

As he turned around to leave the room, I found myself catching up to him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Stop, Rebekah," he replied as he turned to see my face lined perfectly with his neck and collarbones.

I saw him shiver. He scanned me over, his bottom lip quivering. I didn't know why he didn't just hug me back, that's all I wanted. If he would've done that, I would've let go. But before I comprehended his next move, I felt a pair of all too familiar lips capture my own, passionate and needy.