The Angel Next Door

Chapter 9

 I don't know what went wrong with today. It started off so well. I woke up to see Asher sleeping a foot from me. I got to see Mal for the first time in a while. Then it all went to actually hell. Like so so so bad. My dad was the same asshole he was before. I then learn that Mal lied to me about my dad. And then to top off the night I get into the weirdest fight with Dave that ends with me pushing him down the stairs. Oh, and the cherry on top is me pushing Asher to the ground.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I shout as I walk through the empty dark roads of Phoenix.

And I walk to the only place that's close and I know I can be alone, the playground. I thought I would be calmer by the time I walked here, but lord I'm still fuming. I'm just hoping to god that there's a guy that's about to come and try to attack me then I could beat the shit out of someone without any consequences.

I can't stop moving. For hours I just pace around the playground. I sit on the swing for a few seconds before having to stand back up. I kick the swing hard, almost getting smacked by it on its way back.

3 am...

I'm so tired. I can't sleep though. I'm just lying down on the jungle gym, staring up at the stars. I feel like I've exhausted everything. My body is sore. My brain has turned to mush. Part of me wants to scream and the other part is an inch from sobbing like a baby.

5 am...

"Spencer." I can tell it's Asher by the voice, but I stay where I am, staring up at the sky. "Are you okay?" I just laugh at that. "It took a while to find you. I ended up using Snapchat to track you down." I just start laughing louder.

I don't think I can talk at this point. I have nothing to say. Nothing in me wants to try anymore.

"Can you just tell me that you're alright?" He's standing on top of me.

I just force a small smile.

"I guess that will do." He squeezes himself on the floor next to me. "So last night was fun." I can't help but chuckle a little.

Then it's as if the damn breaks and tears just flow from my eyes. I start finding it hard to breathe. My chest hurts.

"Oh my god. Spencer. What's wrong?" He sits up and faces me.

"Everything." I start sniffling. "I just don't get the point anymore."

"The point of what?"

"All of this. Life. It's just too hard. I just don't think I meant for it."

"Spencer!" I've never heard Asher get so serious. "Don't say that!" He looks down at me, making direct eye contact. "I can say with complete honesty that my life has only been better since you've come around."

"No..."

"Yes! You've made me a better person. You've even made me think about who I am." He gives me this weird look.

"You're too sweet." I sit up.

"You're too amazing."

"Thanks for lying to me."

"It's not a lie! Stop doing that! You are amazing. Deal with it!"

"You're the only one who sees me that way."

"And? So what if that is true? Do you need anyone else to believe in you? Am I not enough?" He lightly shoves me.

"I guess it's enough."

"Good. Now can you come back with me? My mom says you can stay as long you'd like. She also thinks your amazing by the way."

"I don't deserve all of this. You guys are too nice."

"Lord! Do I have to punch you to realize that you do deserve this. You deserve all of it and more. You deserve love as much as anyone else."

Then I lose it. I truly lose my mind and do the most stupid thing I've ever done. I lean in and kiss Asher. It is the most amazing three seconds before I realize what I've done. I move back and Asher looks frozen. Well fuck!

I get up to my feet and just jump off the jungle gym. Then I just start walking.

"Spencer!" I turn around and Asher runs up to me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me.

"Wow." Asher steps back.

"Yeah." I honestly don't know how to respond to this.

It's so awkward now. We're just standing looking around.

"I'm sorry." Asher blurts out.

"Oh! No! Don't be sorry. That was... nice."

"Nice."

"Well, not nice. Amazing."

"Amazing?"

"Yeah... and for you?"

"I would say amazing is an understatement."

"Really?" I've never been so happy to hear something in my life.

"Definitely."

"So... does this mean you're gay?"

"I honestly have no idea. I never really thought about another guy in that way until you came along." Something about this is so sweet.

"Okay. So what now?"

"I don't know."

"I guess we take this one day at a time."

"Sounds good. Does that mean you're coming back with me?"

"I guess so. I don't have any other place to go at this moment."

"That doesn't sound very enthusiastic."

"I'm just tired."

"Okay. Then let's go."

We get in his car, drive to his house, and I quickly go inside as to miss being seen by the neighbors.

"Hey!" Asher's mom is wide awake and smiling a lot. "I'm so happy Asher was able to find you. Are you okay?" She goes in for a hug and I'm so not used to it.

"Yeah. As good as can be."

"Good. Asher, can you bring his bag up to the guest room?"

"The guest room?" Asher looks disappointed and I find it so cute.

"Yeah. He can't sleep on your floor every night." Asher grabs the bag and goes.

"This is so nice of you. I don't know how I could repay you."

"It's nothing. You've been a great friend to my son and I know you've been through a lot. This is the least I could do." Something about that makes my eyes tear up and I thought I was out of tears at this point.

"Thank you so much! I don't think I'll ever stop thanking you."

"There's no need. Just get some sleep and relax."

"Thanks. I'll try." She hugs me once more.

I go upstairs and Asher is waiting at the top of the stairs.

"You're mom's amazing."

"She's not bad."

He guides me to the room and closes the door behind us. He doesn't waste a second before beginning to kiss me. Any other moment and I would be thrilled, but I'm so physically and emotionally tired that I'm done. So I stop kissing him. He looks confused.

"Asher... this is fantastic. And trust me when I say that I want to continue this. But I'm really tired. And I really need some sleep. And just be alone for a little."

"Okay. I get it. I'll see you later." He kisses me once more before leaving the room.

"Fuck."