The Angel Next Door

Chapter 14

"You're scaring me, Spencer."

"Please. I need to tell you all of this before I wimp out."

"Okay."

"Great. Yeah. Okay." I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. "The easiest way to begin this is just to spit it out." I look to Asher, hoping for some sort of interruption. "My coach molested me." It's like vomit coming out of my mouth.

I can tell Asher wants to say something. He wants to come over and hug me. But he knows it would only freak me out more right now.

"I was 10 when it started." The rollercoaster is already on the move and there's no stopping it now. "I was having a night practice. He told me he could help me get to the Olympics. And I believed him." I hate myself right now. "God I was a stupid kid. I was so fuckin' stupid." I stand up and walk a little away before walking back. "And it happened for years. Until two years ago. I came out to my dad. I got kicked out. I moved in with my mom. And I used that as an excuse to quit gymnastics. And as my excuse to not see him again."

"You quit gymnastics to get away from him?"

"Yep. Changed my entire life. Over a guy. A story as old as time."

"Spencer..." Asher stands up.

"No. No. No." I step back. "I'm not done and if you comfort me I'm gonna cry and then I'll never finish my story."

"Okay."

"Okay... so I didn't tell you the full truth about what happened last year. And lied a little about it. I didn't go to jail. But I did go to rehab. It really all started after the stuff with my dad. I used it as an excuse to quit gymnastics. I quit what I love because of a man, a story as old as time." I can feel my eyes watering. "And then I met The Twins. Emma and Donovan. They loved to party. They were rarely sober. But they were so much fun. And I needed fun. I needed anything to distract myself from my life."

I take a seat on the stairs of the jungle gym.

"It was so much fun, but in the worst way possible. We did so many drugs. We drank more than we could handle." My voice starts getting shaky. "And about a year ago... we were at their house. Smoking something Donovan found at a club. We were in their garage. Emma passed out first. Donovan and I were watching Spongebob Squarepants. Then I passed out." My hands start shaking.

"Spencer..."

"No!" I shout at the top of my lungs, my entire body now shaking. "No." I can't look at Asher. "I woke up in rehab. I OD'd. My mom was next to my bed with tears in her eyes. And then she told me Donovan had found his dad's pistol in the garage..."

"Oh my god..."

"Yep." Tears start rolling down my face. "I still don't know if it was an accident or if, maybe..." I start wiping my tears. "So yeah... I was in that rehab center for a month. I was supposed to be there for two. But Dave said it was too expensive and I should just 'man up and get past it'." I breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. "It was hard, but I was able to stop doing hard drugs. I still drink and I still love marijuana, but I don't have either of them nearly as much as I used to. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying."

"Can I hug you?"

"I guess." He walks up to me and gives me the nicest, warmest, and most amazing hug.

"Thank you for telling me all of this."

"I've been so scared that you would see who I really am. I don't want my fucked up self rubbing onto your life"

"Are you kidding me? I'm not scared. I'm not scared of you rubbing off on me. I hope you do. I've never met someone so strong and fearless. Someone who is so caring. So special."

"Oh my god." I get teary eyed hearing that. "You're the special one. I've never met someone so talented. Someone so kind. You're here for me no matter how much I try and push you away. No one's been that way with me. Everyone always runs away."

"I'll never run away from you. I couldn't if I wanted."

"I love you." Oh my god! Why'd I say that? Shit. Fuck.

"I love you too."

"Oh my god. Really?" I can't believe I just blurted that out.

"Of course. Why?"

"I don't know. No one's ever said that to me before."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And I've never said it to anyone else either."

"I feel so honored."

Watching him smile just makes me happier.

"Do you think we could go and get some ice cream?"

"Yeah. That sounds perfect."

"Then maybe go back to the house and cuddle for a while?"

"I'd like nothing else."