The Angel Next Door

Chapter 10

I don't actually go to sleep. I did try, but after two hours of sitting in the dark and staring at the inside of my eyelids, I gave up. Every once in a while I can see people's shadows crossing the front of my door. At some point, I hear Avi and London whispering as they tiptoe past. I hear my name. Just something about being here feels weird. I know they all know what happened last night. Or at least the part with Dave. And I feel like I'm going to be judged. That they're going to look at me. They're going to pity me. It's all just very stressful to me. And when I'm stressed, I tend to drink or do something a bit worse. But my stash is next door and I just can't be kicked out of here.

So I'll do the one other thing that distracts me when I'm stressed out, workout. I put on some workout gear, take a deep breath, and step outside my room finally. I can hear everybody downstairs. They all get quiet once they hear my door close. I take one last deep breath before stepping down and into the kitchen.

"Hey. Did you get any sleep?" Asher's mom smiles and everyone else tries not to look at me all at once.

"A little."

"Great. Would you like some pancakes? Fruit? Juice?"

"I'm good. I was just gonna do some stretching and then go for a run."

"Are you sure?" Asher walks over.

"Yeah. I'm not really a breakfast person." I smile and walk over to the backdoors, stepping out to the backyard.

It's sunny and warm, but still not to the point of melting. It's actually a bit chilly once the wind blows. But it feels nice. The fresh air. The smell of the desert. And as I do some stretches and yoga poses I truly feel relaxed. It's nice, but something deep in me doesn't feel quite right. And I think it all comes down to being just feet away from Dave and my mom. Knowing that my mom hasn't tried once to call or text me.

"Hey. You okay?" Asher steps outside and I fall from my headstand. "Shit. Sorry."

"No problem."

"So you wanna talk about what happened?"

"Actually. Can we do that later?" I stand up. "I need a run right now."

"Yeah. Of course." I quickly walk past him, inside and past everyone, then out the front door.

I start running right away, hoping not to see Dave. I run fast and I run hard. I don't look back. I don't pay attention to where I'm going.

3 HOURS LATER...

"Hey." Asher is walking down the stairs as I walk inside.

"Hey."

"You were gone a while."

"Yeah. Just felt good outside today."

"Yeah. Everyone's gone right now. Probably won't be back for a couple of hours."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm going to go for a swim..."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Sure." I take off my shirt and start backing away from him.

"I'll be out so quick." He smiles and runs upstairs.

I walk out and don't waste any time before jumping into the lukewarm water. It's refreshing and amazing and just what I need. I just hang out under the water for a bit before seeing Asher jump in. We spot each other underwater and swim to each other.

"The water's nice." Asher can't stop smiling.

"Yeah."

Asher just looks me over for a minute before kissing me. It's so nice, but part of me keeps looking around to make sure Asher's family isn't home. I feel like I'm more scared for him than he is.

"Are you sure you wanna do this? Out here?"

"Yeah. I'm not afraid."

"Does that mean you're going to come out to your parents?"

"Yeah. I want to. Just figuring out when."

"Also make sure you 100% know what you are."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you may be gay, but you may be bi, or pan, or I don't know..."

"Straight? Do you really think I could still be straight?"

"I don't know. I just don't want you to change your entire life unless you're 100% sure."

"I may not know exactly what I am, but I can guarantee you that there is only one thing straight about me." He grabs my hand and puts it onto the front of his bathing suit where he is having a massive boner.

"Oh..."

"Yeah." He releases my hand. "And I don't know when I'm going to come out. Part of me is hoping there will just be a perfect and organic time for it to come out."

"I hope you get that moment."

"What is meant to happen will happen."

"You're such a grownup." The dogs start barking and we both quickly swim back from each other.

We look inside and see Asher's family enter through the front door. His mom walks through and comes out back.

"Is the water nice?" She lets the dogs out.

"Amazing." Asher leans against the edge of the pool.

"Great. Avi's getting changed now. He wants to do a diving competition with you Spencer."

"Oh? Really?"

"Oh yeah. He really wants to win." We all laugh. "I expect you to make sure he loses. His ego is already too big." We both laugh and Asher looks shocked.

"Mom!"