Sadyang Mapaglaro Ang Tadhana (Feeble Love #2)

Kabanata 11

Nightmare

"Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you..."

Aren't we have bad experiences that we couldn't forget? And some things could really triggered our trauma. I've been keeping it to my self for so long. I'm still trying that maybe someday, I could overcome it.

I was seven when I started helping in charity event with my grandma. Generosity, one thing I acquired from her. But when she died, pinatuloy ko pa rin iyon. Every year, it has become my tradition to celebrate my birthday by giving assistance to other people. Sometimes I gave monetary donation but most of the time I prefer to give them stuff and food that surely they'll need.

I turned fourteen that time. Matangkad din ako kaya hindi halata sa edad. They said I was too matured for my age. That I was too good and selfless. Things that would probably harm me, they said.

"Mommy, I'm okay alone. Sasamahan naman po ako ni Manang Helen at tsaka si Miss Jennifer po." I said with my pleasing eyes.

But Mom was certainly not convinced. It's my birthday today. Ngayon, iba ang napili kong puntahan.

Hope Mental Hospital.

I've done a research before deciding. Nalaman ko kasi na kulang pa doon ang facility at hindi rin masyadong nabibigyan ng tuon ang mga kailangan ng pasyente dahil nga nasa sulok ng Quezon Province. Okay naman iyon kay Daddy kaso lang si Mommy lang ang problema. She said it's too risky for me which I don't understand. Lalo na raw at hindi siya makakasama. My mom has been so supportive ever since. When I finally step high school, she let me decide on my own which really helped me grew. Pero kung sa tingin niya mali na ang desisyon ko, she would interfere.

"Pwede bang i-reschedule na lang yan Danah Therese? Let's have a dinner later before my flight." She said while arranging her luggage.

"But Mom, its my birthday today."

Ngayon lang ako nagpupumilit kay mommy ng ganito. This event is important to me and I want it to happen. Nakaready na ang lahat, naghihintay na lang din sa akin doon. 

"Exactly. Its your birthday. So I expect you to celebrate it with us, with yourself."

Natahimik ako, mukhang hindi na nga talaga papayag si mommy. Paalis na ako sa kwarto nila ng marinig ko ang malalim na buntong-hininga niya.

"Alright then. But promise me you'll be fine."

Nanglaki ang mata ako at mabilis na niyakap siya.

"Thanks Mom." I said and he hugged me tightly.

Her feature was just like mine. She look soft but very intimidating.

"Could you wait for your Daddy or Kuya to come home? Para masamahan ka--

"Mom, It's okay. Kasama ko naman yung Secretary niyo tsaka si Manang Helen. At pwede ko rin po isama si Mark." Sambit ko pa para mapanatag siya.

Iyon nga ang ginawa ko. Sumama si Mark sa amin papuntang Quezon Province. Unang beses na hindi ko kasama ang family ko but it's okay. Pagkarating namin sa maliit na hospital, medyo hindi nga maganda ang lugar... mapuno at luma na ang maliit na building. Tiny, no security, lack in everything.

"Is this a hospital or a haunted house?" Mark murmured but I ignored him.

Sa front desk sinalubong kami ng staff. Halos nasa sampu lahat ang nurse at dalawa lang ang doctor. May iilang din na naka wheel chair ang bumati sa akin. Siguro sila yung mga nakarecover na. Pero bago ko pa man sila mapuntahan, nagkagulo na. Nakatalikod ako kaya hindi ko makita kung ano ang nangyayari.

"Bang!"

The sound was like a thunder. It was scary, traumatizing.

Naramdaman ko na lang na may sumasakal sa leeg ko at may malamig na bagay na nakatutok doon. I freaked out when I saw she was holding a knife.

"Therese!" Rinig kong sigaw ni Mark.

I saw blood dropping on my neck. Hindi ko alam kung galing ba iyon sa leeg ko o sa kamay ng sumasakal sa akin.

"Hindi ako baliw. Hindi ako baliw. Tangina tumigil kayo! Hindi nga ako baliw! Papatayin kita tumigil ka!" Sunod sunod na sambit niya sa tenga ko.

"Manahimik kayo!" Malakas na sigaw niya pa.

Nakakabingi iyon. I felt numb and cold. Hindi ako makagalaw lalo na nang kinaladkad niya ako. Nakita kong umiiyak si Manang Helen habang may katawagan sa telepono. Mark was being hestrical, inaawat siya ni Miss Jennifer.

Sa puntong iyon, pakiramdam ko mamatay na ako. Hindi ako makahinga at ipinikit ko na lang ang mga mata ko hanggang tuluyang wala nang makita.

"Therese!"

Mabilis akong napabangon. It was Kuya. He was holding both of my arms. Mabilis niyang kinuha ang towel sa bed table at marahan na pinunas iyon sa mukha ko. I was sweating bullet.

"You dream of it again?" Nag-aalalang tanong niya.

But it was more like nightmare.

"Akala ko ba wala na?" Sambit niya kaya hindi agad ako makasagot.

Akala ko rin. I thought it was gone. But then, it was my mere presumption. Ang totoo, hindi pa naman talaga nawawala. Hindi madali. Its a process that I need to overcome. Hindi niya naman kasalanan na ganito ako. The woman was sick. She has a mental disorder.

Why I want to be a Psychiatrist?

This is the reason. Kahit ang hirap kasi may trauma ako. Paminsan minsan bumabalik pa rin pero walang mangyayari kung hindi ko haharapin. Kaya ko naman. I will defeat this.

"You should move to my condo when we're back to Manila--

Napaawang ang bibig ko. Tiningnan ko si Kuya at halata sa mukha niya ang pag-aalala.

"Kuya, okay lang ako." Malumanay na ani ko. I'm telling the truth. I'm really fine.

Umiling siya at hindi pa rin kumbinsido sa sagot ko. Inabot niya na lang sa akin ang breakfast na handa niya. It was pancake, sunny side up egg, bacon,  avocado toast and a green tea. Ang dami naman.

"You cooked this?" Tanong ko habang sinusubo ang pancake.

Umiling siya. Hindi siya ang gumawa.

"You ordered?" I asked again

"River, the one who cooked." He looked straight in my eyes. But then he arched his brow when he saw my reaction.

Nasaan na ba yun? At dito ba siya natulog? Hindi ko na rin naman kasi siya nakausap dahil pagkatapos nang tawag ni kuya, umakyat na ako at nakatulog. Napansin niya siguro na may tanong sa mga mata ko.

"Tsk. I shoo him away already."

Kumunot ang noo ko pero pinigilan na lang ang sarili na magsalita. Maybe I hate River for a reason... Him, being around made me feel uncomfortable. But, yesterday was different.

~~