it's been 2 weeks. it hurts more than anything seeing him doing so well while i am sitting here crushed.
i havent left the house at all. i had caroline bring me food and i ordered food all the time. it was bad but oh well
i was eating ice cream when i got a notification that sapnap posted on insta.
sapnap @/sapnapinsta
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girlfriend post lol
i screamed and threw my phone. how could he just up and do that? it has been two weeks since we broke up. how could he do it. i cried into my pillow
"i just wanted to be loved" i sobbed.
i laid in bed crying all day ignoring all the notifications coming in from my phone. i heard my front door open then close. i just laid there numb.
"kayla baby" i heard kayla say
"kaylaaaaa" karl spoke
"what" i said not even opening my eyes or moving. i felt the bed dip beside me and an arm wrap around me. i started crying more
"hey shhhh it's okay" karl said
i could hear caroline cleaning my room up. i hated that they were here. i hated that they felt the need to do this. i hated all of it.
i kept crying until i had no tears left. i felt so numb. i could hear caroline doing the dishes and still felt karl next to me
"kayla, we need you to get up and shower"
"i can't" i said back to caroline
"i will stop bring you ice cream" she said and i turned around. i was met with a smiling karl.
"i'm awake" i said as karl picked me up.
"up you go" he said placing me on my feet. i groaned and went to my closet to grab clothes since i needed to change.
i looked at the twins standing in my room before going to the connecting bathroom and locking the door.
i turned on the shower.
☆
i was sitting in the living room with karl and caroline. i was being forced out of my room. i hated it
"how could he move on that quickly?" i ask
"i don't know" karl said. i sighed and looked over to see my cat lola jumping onto the couch
"hey lola" caroline said. my phone was next to me. karl encouraged me to answer my sister but i was not in the mood
i still picked it up and saw a few texts from my sister miley.
miley tays how you doing girly? i already sent him threats
kayla tays i'm sad and mad but the jacobs' are here
miley tays tell them i say hello
kayla tays will do but yeah i hate him
miley tays pls write a breakup album ruin him i beg
kayla tays trust me that will be in the works by the end of today
i turned my phone off and stood up. both karl and caroline looked up at me. i just walked towards my music room and they knew what was to come next.
before i could do anything i decided to call nick. i genuinely hoped he was okay. i knew i would regret it
"what do you want kayla?"
"i was just going to ask how you were"
"well i'm fine" he mumbled before hanging up. oh damn.
i turned to my grand piano with my notebook and played the notes to the song i started working on yesterday
☆
karl and caroline walked in and sat on my couch i had in the room. i kept working on the song not fully liking how it was playing out at all.
i switched up the lyrics a little
"called you on the phone today, just to ask you how you were. all i did was speak normally, somehow i still struck a nerve"
"i love that" i heard caroline say. i turned to her and saw both her and karl watching me
"thank you" i spoke before looking back at my piano
"you got me fucked up in the head, boy. never doubted myself so much. like, am i pretty? am i fun, boy? i hate that i give you power over that kind of stuff"
i sighed before i started crying. i wrote down new lyrics before playing the melody without singing. i sang in my head.
i hummed before karl's phone started ringing. i looked back at him fumbling with his phone until he answered and left the room. caroline sat down next to me
"i am proud of you" she said.
"i just thought maybe i finally enough for somebody" i spoke leaning my head on her shoulder
"who cares if you are enough for others. be enough for yourself. that's all you need"
"i am trying" i said sighing
"play me the song all the way through"
punz's pov:
"yeah she has just been sat at her piano for the past hour just working away" karl said
"sapnap is going to be fucked when the songs start coming out" i said. we both laughed.
we stopped when you suddenly heard piano and the most gorgeous voice singing along. my mouth opened in shock
"is that her?" i asked
"yep, hold on let me get you closer" he said. he walked closer to the room and i listened in shock
