It Gets Complicated (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 26: Dream, Think, Remember

A/N:

Since my last update the number of views has doubled from 5k to 10k! I just want to say that I love you guys bunches!

Bold lines will represent Jay writing in his journal and italicized lines will represent a flashback of past events.

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I stared at the end of the couch, my arms wrapped around my knees and head empty of thoughts. Victoria had brought me to her house so I wouldn't have to be alone, but it didn't make much difference...not to me.

I had already explained as much as I could, had already broken down and picked myself back up too many times, had already given up hope. He was gone. Ryan was gone.

........

"Ryan? Hey, Ryan!" I ran down the hallway, barely seizing his wrist before he walked out the door. "You can't leave me! You have to stay! Please just-"

"If you love something, you're supposed to let it go, right?" His arm slipped away from my grasp just as I sat straight up on the couch.

"It was a dream..." I repeated it to myself about seven times, but that didn't help push the fresh memories away. I wanted to believe that the entire thing was just a horrible nightmare and that Ryan would call me in the morning and everything would be okay; however, when my eyes drifted down to the tear-stained shirt that held the logo of some sports team that Ryan loved, I knew it was all too real.

"You okay?" Victoria was, or had been, sleeping on the couch on the opposite side of the room and had heard me talking to myself. I could feel the tears coming, my throat tightening and my head shaking.

"No," the single word wasn't much of anything besides a strangled whisper in the silent air.

"Jay," she moved to the couch beside me. "You know he loves you." I buried my face in her shoulder, silently shaking with fresh tears pouring down onto her shirt. "He had no choice." That was the new debate in my mind. Had Derek done what was best, or was he wrong?

"I don't even know anymore." I pulled it all back in, shoving the emotions to the back of my mind where they would eventually burst out like a jack in the box, but for now they were contained. "I think...we might've made it."

"Jay, put yourself in his shoes. I know you like to think that he should have given everything up for you, and that that's what true love is, but you were only together for a few months. Would you have given everything, and I mean literally everything, for him?"

"I-I-I don't know." I shook my head, the thoughts making my head spin. It made sense when Victoria put it like that, and I didn't want it to. I didn't want there to be any logic behind him leaving. I didn't want to leave period. "I like to think that I would..."

"What if he had proposed, Jay? What would you have said yes even if you knew it meant that you'd struggle financially for the rest of you life?"

"I would have said yes," I nodded to myself. "I didn't know he had money when we met, and that didn't matter to me...we would have made it all work...I like to think we would have."

"Jay, look at me." I glanced over to see my own pain reflected in her eyes. "Everything happens for a reason. If he's meant to be in your life, he'll find his way back." A smile eased its way onto my face before I hugged her.

"You're the best, best friend in the world."

"I know." She gave me a hair flip and laughed.

...............

"If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?" I glanced up at Ryan, my fingers pausing on my laptop's keyboard. He was going through his dresser drawers in search of a shirt and had his back to me, but looked over his shoulder when I didn't respond.

"Why?" My fingers resumed mindlessly typing, but my eyes remained locked with his until he looked away, returning to his hunt for the shirt.

"I'm just curious." I knew he had ulterior motives for asking the question, but at this point in our relationship I figured it was best to just go along with it until he sprung a new surprise on me. He never disappointed.

"Italy." I looked back to my screen, deleting half of the essay I had just typed and starting fresh.

"Where in Italy?"

"Venice, Rome, ya know, the normal stuff."

"Why?" He gave up on finding whatever shirt he'd been looking for and jumped onto the bed beside me. I gave him a small laugh as I thought about my answer, knowing he would be head over heels with the idea.

"I've always wanted to ride in a gondola, ya know, like through the canals and stuff in Venice around sunset. It's like my dream date." I blushed.

"That sounds wonderful." His eyes were sparkling with admiration. "Why don't we go? Just the two of us?" I shut my laptop and sat back against the head board, sighing as the thought of us in Italy together.

"That would be wonderful."

"It'll be a graduation present." He laid his head back on my chest, twisting so he could see my face.

"You're so weird," I chuckled. My fingers moved through his soft hair on their own, the habit far too instinctual to resist. "But I don't need a trip to Italy to have the perfect date."

"Then where do you wanna go?"

"Anywhere you are." I smiled and kissed his forehead as his strong arms wrapped around me.

"JAY?! HELLO?!" I snapped back to reality, glancing around the classroom.

"What?" I had been thinking about Ryan again...it was Tuesday, only two days had passed since Ryan left me...and tomorrow he left the country for six months...

"Are you going to space out every time I start talking?" Some girl was talking to me, but there was no way I was going to be able to actually comprehend whatever it was she was trying to say to me. My mind was stuck on the fact that I had one day...I could fix this...I could stop him from leaving...I have one day to save us, and this time I won't let him slip away.

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A/N:

I'm sorry about the delay on the update. I've been super busy, and my computer has been super sucky, and you guys are super amazing! 10k!!!!

If you liked this chapter please leave a comment or a vote or both! xx

-Tay