It Gets Complicated (BoyxBoy)

Epilogue Part 3: Remembering to Forget...

A/N:

This is the last update to IGC guys...this is it...here we go...

Any bold lines will represent Jay writing in his journal and any italicized lines will represent a flashback of past events.

........

I went to the beach with my friends, and I tried to forget about the things that happened. We laughed and I smiled, a genuine smile because they were my best friends, but at night my mind would wander. Thoughts of Ryan somewhere far away from where I was, thoughts of us together...of us apart...the moments. It's crazy to think that after all this time that's what I continue to choose to hold onto...the moments.

Those small eternities, though, were all I really had left of the time we spent together. We weren't meant to be, and honestly my heart had wandered to someone else long ago, but that didn't mean I could ever forget about Ryan. It was all too fresh, too real.

My phone started buzzing in my pocket Monday night so I stepped out onto the balcony for some privacy. The number didn't look familiar, but I answered it anyways.

"Hi, my name is Ryan and I don't know why but I had surgery and the nurse gave me a note that I wrote and all it said was to call this number?" My heart stopped beating for a second. Ryan sounded so scared and confused...it was disorienting. I took a deep breath, shaking my head.

"Hey Ryan, it's Jay, remember?" There was a moment of silence where I held my breath and silently prayed. He would say of course and smile and we could both sigh in relief and laugh...

"I'm sorry, who?" With those words the breath came tumbling out of my mouth like someone had punched me in the stomach.

"Blue Jay?" I knew it was a long shot, but the name just came out.

"Blue Jay?" He sounded interested, like something might have clicked. "Are you Blue Jay?"

"Yes," I whispered happily, biting my bottom lip.

"I don't know why, but that name means something to me." My heart fell through the floor, actually more like the three stories down to the ground.

"Can I call you back in just a minute? I promise I'll explain everything."

"Okay," he sounded a little cautious, "I trust you." I just nodded to myself, taking a deep breath before hanging up and walking inside to get my headphones and telling my friends I'd be on the phone for a little bit. They eyed me knowingly, but I just turned and walked back out to the balcony. I called him back almost instantly and waited. One ring, two, a third, and a fourth, just pick up the-

"Hello?"

"Hey Ryan, it's Jay again." What came next hit me like a freight train.

"Who are you? My family keeps telling me to not talk to you and that you're going to lie to me and Derek keeps-"

"Ryan," I shook my head to myself, "I know. I know what they're doing and I know you don't remember and that things are hard and I'm not going to ask you to trust me over them. They're your family, Ryan."

"That's the problem though. They've been telling me all these things and trying to get me to remember, but it doesn't feel right...I don't know who you are, but I want you to tell me...all I have is this feeling and it's just not going away...and your voice is just so...please." I took another deep breath. He had never been a vulnerable person, but right now he sounded on the verge of breaking, and even if it meant I had to relive our whole sad saga, I would do it. I would do it for him.

"My name is Jay. I am 18 years old. We've been together on and off for almost a year and-"

"I remember the past year. I spent most of it in Europe." His interruption gave me a little hope. "But I don't remember you." And there it goes again.