It Gets Complicated (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 28: P.S. Football

A/N:

Any bold lines will represent Jay writing in his journal and any italicized lines will represent a flashback of past events.

..........

        "Open the door!" I cried. My fist slammed into the structure a few times before I froze like that. My knees were on the floor, one hand reached out and resting on the door while the other braced me on the ground.

        This wasn't happening. I'm supposed to get my happy ending. I drove all the way here, I was supposed to show up and stop him from leaving and find a way to fight for him...for us. But I failed...he was already gone.

        "Ryan," I whispered as the tears continued to stream down my face, "I love you."

...........

        The door slowly opened and a smile stretched itself across my face. He was here, and this was my chance. I took a step forward and came face to face with a face that wasn't Ryan.

        "Jay." Sad eyes looked down at me, eyes that I'd come to know quite well. Eyes that were now the sign of someone who betrayed me... "You shouldn't be here."

        "Derek," my voice was a small whisper as I tried to ignore my closing throat and blurry eyes. "Where is he?" Derek didn't say a word, simply standing there, staring at me. "What?"

        "You should leave." He nodded his head as iif to reassure himself that it was the right thing to say. I stared at him in disbelief as he began to close the door. There was a soft thud when I wedged my foot in the door to keep it open.

        "Get your ass back out here!" The timid fear and grief from before had vanished almost instantly. I was mad. No, I was more than just mad. I was pissed the fuck off. "You don't get to turn your back on me and tell me to leave after what you did!" The door opened once more, only Derek appeared to be just as angry as I was.

        "After what I did?! Ryan was going to give up everything for you! He was going to trade away his apartment, his education, his money, everything just for YOU. Do you understand that Jay? I couldn't let him just throw his life away because he thinks he's in love. I saved Ryan from making a horrible mistake!"

        "A horrible mistake?" That hit me hard. "You-you think that...I'm a horrible mistake." The way I said it almost sounded like a question, but there was no question about it.

        "No, Jay, that's not what-"

        "I am not a mistake! We were not a mistake! I love him, Derek! I'm sorry that I'm not older, or have financial security, or a six pack of abs, or anything else the rest of you guys have, but this can't be the end." I started shaking my head as tears threatened to fall. "I just need to see him one more time. I need him to know...I need to tell him how I feel."

        "Ryan's flight got bumped up two hours." Derek didn't budge out of the entry way of the door, staring at me as if this news was supposed to affect me. "Jay, he's gone. He left half an hour ago for the airport." I stared at him, not processing what he was actually saying.

        "What?"

        "Go home Jay. It's over." Derek shut the door in my face and that's when the water works began.

..............

        I guess that's it...he left today and there was literally nothing I could do about it. I've tried calling him 17 times since he was supposed to land somewhere in Europe...it always rings twice before going to voice mail...

        I'm trying to stay calm...but every time I think about something-anything really-it reminds me of him or something I did with him or something I wanted to do with him...I need him to know that I understand the choice he had to make and that maybe one day we could be together again...

.............

        My key turned in the lock before I pushed the familiar door open. It was quiet inside. No, not just quiet...it was silent. The hollow thud of the door shutting sent a shiver down my spine. I walked past the small kitchen, not even glancing at it as I briskly made my way straight for one room...His room.

        I took a deep breath before twisting the handle. The door didn't budge. I looked it over and tried twisting the handle once again before realizing it was locked. Ryan must not have wanted someone in his room, whether it were me or Derek or his parents I had no idea.

        It kind of disturbed me that I couldn't get the few things I'd left in his bedroom; however, I began to gather my other random belongings that were neatly placed around the apartment from months ago. A beanie, a phone charger, a shirt, etc. I finally walked over to the refrigerator when I noticed a note taped to the door.

        "Dear Derek,

                I appreciate everything you've done for me over the years, and I'm sorry that I won't be graduating with you next semester. Thank you for looking after the place while I'm gone, and I wish you the best with your fiancee.

        -Sincerely, Ryan

        P.S. Football"

        I stared at the bottom of the page in confusion. This was obviously a letter to Derek...so why did he end it using my old safe word?

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A/N:

Thanks for reading and being patient with me and my way too busy self. I love you guys! If you liked this part of the story please leave a comment or a vote or both!

-Tay