It Gets Complicated (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 12: Paint in My Heart

A/N:

Sooo we hit 1k view since I last posted and I couldn't be more excited!! :) Love you guys to the stars! Anyways, any bold text will represent Jay writing in his journal and any italicized text will represent a flashback of past events.

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Normally, I wouldn't have minded the stillness of my room. The walls were freshly painted, and by freshly painted I mean every now and again I just took out a paintbrush and added a little something extra to the white walls that were now covered in all sorts of colors. I stared up at the wall that my head was now fully supporting itself upon, thinking of all the people whose hand prints were (and were not) staring back at me in bold colors. Everything seemed to be quiet today, except for my mind.

It's almost been a week since I last saw Ryan. After Derek convinced me to go and apologize, which, I will admit the only reason I did as he said is because the man could knock me out with one backhand and feel no remorse. I freaking love it. Or...in a friend kind of way...he's straight. Anyways, I was crossing the parking lot when Zack tried to run me over. That dumb ass rides a baby blue moped and he thought he was going to take me out. Like...? Derek and I came to the conclusion that he was high when he missed and soon started yelling at a tree. I assume there was much more than weed involved, however, I did not stick around to further investigate. I seriously think that-

There was a tap at my window. I glared at it from my position in the floor, the sunlight that was streaming in was already unwelcome, but the last thing that I needed was a damn bird pestering me. There was a second tap, this one lighter. Then a third, and a forth, all of which were almost evenly spaced out. That bird is going to die for making me get up. When I reeled up the blinds, however, there was nothing there. No bird? Well, maybe I'm just going-

I rubbed my eyes and looked back out the window. Ryan was standing there with a hand full of the gravel rocks from my driveway, and smiling up at my surprised face. There was a moment of panic that my family might see him outside and instantly start interrogating me. Just a moment. They were all out of the house today with other plans and I was simply sitting and sulking in the quiet loneliness.

I pulled the window open, cautiously poking my head out and staring down at that beautiful face. Most people would have spoken by now, hell everyone would have at least waved. I, on the other hand, simply stared at him, my expression probably an unknown mixture of confusion, grief, and awe. Ryan was here for ME. He was throwing pebbles at my window and standing in what I could only presume was mud, for me.

"Hey Blue Jay." He didn't yell it, his voice simply carrying itself up to my ears and sending a shiver down my spine, causing my breathing to hitch. I took a deep breath. This was the moment.

"Do you wanna come in?" Thank the lord for that being the question that came out of my mouth. The million other options were either wildly inappropriate or asking for conflict. He just nodded, his eyes never breaking contact with mine. I was going to melt if he didn't stop. I was going to physically melt into a puddle on my window sill and stain the rainbow that had been painted on it only a few weeks ago. I like my rainbow, I don't wanna stain my rainbow...what?

Halfway down the stairs I realized two things: First, I was not wearing pants. What? It was a Saturday and I was sitting in my floor moping, give me a break. Second, this was the first time we would be alone in my territory. I mean, sure we had gone out to a few places in town that I knew, but none of them were as private or as comfortable as my own home. I opened the front door, pausing for moment. Ryan had on that adoring smile, his eyes bright. My hand fell on the handle to the glass door that was now the only thing between the two of us. Am I ready for this? Is he ready for this? What are we even supposed to be ready for? The door was open. Well, there goes all my thinking time.