It Gets Complicated (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 7: Confusion

"I love you."

I stared into those warm brown eyes, my jaw dropped. He had just-he said that-why would he-what? My head was spinning as those eyes seemed to stare into my very being. Would this stop light change? Please? I needed him to look away so I could process what he was saying. It didn't. It held us in that moment for an eternity, me staring at him and completely caught off guard.

"I-I-" maybe he would think that I was seizing with the amount of blinking I was doing. That would be better than me finally realizing what was going on. "You what?"

"I. Love. You." Each word was distinct and clear as he pressed the accelerator, only glancing at the road every now and again as he continued to stare. Besides the fact that his stare was making me forget how to use my words, could he not focus on the road to at least ensure that we didn't die before I could say something rational? What do you say to that though? We'd been together for like four days, known each other for a week, and he was telling me he loved me. I wanted to look away, I needed to look away, everything should just stop for a second so I could figure out what I was going to do. Luckily, I didn't have to. "I just want you to know that."

Just wanted me to know that? What? Surely this wasn't happening. He couldn't possibly think that he was in love with me after spending one night together. We hadn't even done anything! This is where my inner saint put up his little red flag and started waving it frantically. Normal people don't say "I love you" after a week of knowing each other. That's the kind of thing I typically detested. On the other hand, though, he was attractive, sweet, smart, attractive, resourceful, fun, attractive...

"I can't-I mean-I lo-" he cut me off. Thank God! I really wasn't ready to say those three little words. Only three words and yet they were so binding and committing. Was that what I wanted? Was I ready for that kind of feeling in my life? I mean, sometimes I had trouble saying that I loved pizza. I just had some problems with emotional committment okay?

"Don't say it back." He smiled, looking back to the road. "I don't want you to say it." What the hell was THAT supposed to mean? "Not yet at least." He could have given me a map and pointed to an X on the ground five feet away and I still wouldn't have been able to find it in this state of mind.

"What?" I was so confused. He said he loved me, but didn't want me to say it back. That made absolutely no sense. Like at all. My eyes were locked on his face, my eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. A red tint came over his face while he seemed to take a liking to chewing on his bottom lip. Was he...nervous?

"I know that you aren't at the same place I am emotionally, and I don't want to pressure you into saying anything you aren't ready for. I just want you to know that I do care about you. A lot, actually. Like, a lot a lot." His face turned an even brighter shade of red, his grip on my hand tightening. I always thought that I would be the one in the relationship saying that we should take things slow, and here he was pressuring me to not be pressured. Is that a thing? I seem to be making a lot of non-things into things here lately. He was like a damn drug, making me confused but happy and only wanting more.

"You are-"

"I know." He smiled at my dazed expression, stroking my hand with his thumb.

...........

My head was pounding. Where the hell was the damn Ibuprofen? I fumbled through the kitchen in search of the stupid pain relievers, glaring down at my pocket as the never ending glow of my phone persisted through the fabric. As I proceeded to swallow more pills than what could possibly be healthy, my phone went off again.

I leaned back against the kitchen counter with a sigh before sliding down to the floor. Why was this happening to me? I didn't do anything to deserve this nuisance in my life. At some point after Ryan had dropped me off at my car, some number had started texting me. After several hateful text messages telling me to stay away from my own boyfriend, and a phone call to Derek, since telling Ryan would result in someone's imediate death, I came to find out that it was Ryan's most recent ex. I had to have known that there was no fairy tale without an evil witch hiding behind the scenes trying to stir up some trouble. This was drama I did not need.

The messages continued to assault me throughout the day, only intsensifying in quantity as I continued to ignore them. Sure, I could easily block this jealous psychopath, but I couldn't bring myself to ignore the chance at learning about Ryan's past. We didn't talk about it very much, him becoming rigid and cold whenever I asked about his previous relationships. Yes, I understand that it's not exactly romantic to talk about your exes with your current boyfriend, but I just wanted to know what to expect from him.

My phone buzzed, only differently this time. This time someone was calling me. The number was private. Oh joy. I ran upstairs to my room and shut the door. Might as well answer the damn person and end all of this bull shit. "Hello?"

A/N:

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-Tay