Hidden Pain (BoyxBoy-Jastin)

First Session

Jason sigh quietly as he stares at the boy in front of him. He’s been asking Justin to see the doctor or the therapist that will help Justin with his recovery. The doctor has been waiting for Justin down at the living room for half an hour now but Justin didn’t want to see him. He didn’t want to see anybody that he doesn’t know. “Come on Jay. It will be just for a while. I promise.” Jason said softly understanding Justin’s situation. Justin shook his head as he tuck his face more in to his knee. “He’s here to help you, so you can be better. Don’t you want that?” Jason ask trying to make Justin understand that this stranger is not here to hurt him but to help him. Justin look up from his knee slowly at Jason who was giving him a soft smile. “No one can help me.” Justin whisper making Jason frown at that. “You don’t know that beautiful.” Jason said caressing the younger boy face. “And you’re wrong when you said no one can help you. There’s one person that can help you and you know who’s that person?” Jason ask as he stare at Justin’s brown eyes.

Justin shook his head because in his head, no one can help him. “It’s you.” Jason said smiling lovingly at Justin. Justin furrow his eyebrows confuse. Jason chuckle at how adorable Justin look right now. “You can help yourself Justin. No, you need to help yourself. If you think you can’t be help than you can’t be help but if you think you can then you most definitely can. It’s all up to you whether you want it or not. What happens to always believe in yourself and never give up that you always told you fans? And that Never Say Never phrase you always said.” Jason said making a small smile crept up on Justin face. “That’s just a phrase.” Justin mumble. “So, you’re saying you lied to your fans then? Everything you told them is not real, that it’s just phrase?” Jason said making Justin look at him wide eye. He shook his head furiously.

“No. I don’t lie to them. I meant it. Don’t ever say that I lied to them. I love them.” Justin said sounding upset and that makes Jason smile big as he took Justin’s hand. “Then prove to them that you love them Jay. Don’t give up on yourself for them. They would definitely want to see you get better. And for that, you have to believe that you’ll get better no matter how long it takes.” And that all it took for Justin to nod his head slowly and follow Jason to the living room.

Pattie and the man smiled as Justin took a seat at the opposite chair. Justin stare at his hand feeling nervous. “Hello there Justin. I’m Ethan.” The middle 30 year old man said warmly. He knows how to talk to someone like Justin. It’s his job to know that Justin is in fragile state, where you have to talk softly and not pressure them in any kind of way. “Hello.” Justin said barely audible but still didn’t look up from his hand. Ethan smile at that. At least Justin can still acknowledge people around him. “Well, I’m here to help you and I hope you will let me.” He said softly at the young boy and Justin just nod not saying anything. Ethan clears his throat. He look at Pattie who was just staring at her son like a concern mother she is. “Shall we start now?” the man ask and Pattie nod smiling a little. The man nod “Do you mind your mom and your parents to be here or you prefer them to leave?” Justin snap his head at the man and shook his head rapidly. “No.. no.. let them be here.” Justin said frantically making the man frown but he understand why Justin would prefer someone he knows to be there for their session. He does not trust anyone from his experience and to be alone with another man in a room still scares him and he just cant help it. The man nod. “Very well.”

He clears his throat again and took out his notepad. Jason took a seat beside Pattie slowly. “So, how are you feeling Justin?” Ethan ask looking at the boy. Justin lick his lips and stare down at his hand back. “Umm.. fine I guess..” Justin mumble. “Is that so? That’s good.” Ethan said knowing he have to be patient and not sounding pushing to get a real answer from the boy. “Now, tell me what are you really feeling inside.” The man said smiling at the boy. Justin gulp as he look up at the man and he could feel now that this man doesn’t have bad attention towards him. The room went quiet for a few seconds but Ethan didn’t said anything still looking at Justin with a smile on his face.

“I’m ..i’m not fine.” Justin whisper finally. Ethan nod as he wrote something on his little notebook. “Good. Now, I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath and tell me what are those feelings. Take your time.” Ethan said softly giving a reassuring smile at the boy. Justin bite his lips and look at the man hesitantly but nod anyways. Justin took a deep breath and close his eyes as he feel calm. “Are you feeling calm now Justin?” Ethan ask really softly. “Yes.” Justin answered. “Now, tell me what are those feelings.” The man said as he motion Pattie to take a seat beside Justin slowly and Pattie obeyed it.

“I felt dirty.. umm.. I felt like I have nothing left to be proud of.. I fel..felt used, I just felt like my world is falling a part, I’m not safe anymore, I felt like a failure.. like I don’t want to live anymore..” Justin choke up as he paused. “It’s okay Justin.. go on” Ethan said soothingly. Tears runs down Justin’s cheek but his eyes were still closed. It took everything in Pattie to not hold her son in her arms. “I lost everything.. I felt.. I felt pain everywhere.. I just want it to stop.. It’s my fault and I don’t know what to do..” Justin was full on sobbing now. Ethan had to control his feelings and it’s not easy seeing someone as young as Justin to be a victim in this kind of situation but the man is used to be dealing with these kind of cases and he’s professional enough to control his emotions. Ethan look at Pattie and nod giving permissions for her to hold her son. Pattie didn’t waste anytime and pulled her sobbing son in to her arms. “Shhh baby.. Your safe now.” Pattie keep repeating in to her baby’s ears.

Once Justin finally calm down, Ethan speaks up. “You did great Justin and we will continue on our next session okay? Don’t push yourself too much. Your safe now in the arms of your loves ones and I will do anything to help you.” He said smiling warmly at the young boy who just nod still sniffling. Ethan put his stuff back in his workbag. “Alright then Mrs Mallete, we’re done for today.” The man said standing up. Pattie kissed her sons head as she stood up too. “I’ll send the doctor to the door first alright baby.” Pattie said to her son. “Jase, would you mind be with for awhile.” Pattie wipe her eyes and ask the boy. Jason smiled and nod. Jason took a seat beside Justin and stares at the younger boy concern. “You were very strong you know.” Jason said suddenly but Justin didn’t respond. “As much you don’t want to admit that but it’s the truth.” Jason said softly. Jason scoot closer to Justin and pulled him to his chest, instantly Justin melt at the warm.

He snuggle more feeling safe and content like he always felt when he’s near Jason. Jason play with the younger boy’s hair lovingly. They stayed that way for the whole evening until Justin falls asleep in Jason’s arm. That’s the only place where Justin could sleep without nightmares haunting him and he hopes it stays that way.

Hello Lovelies!

Justin finally starts his road to recovery.

Isn’t Ethan such a nice therapist?

I hope you guys like this chapter.

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And check out my new book about ZUSTIN. It’s called Right Here. I hope you guys will check it out.

Thank you for reading.

Love you guys!