The Billionaire's son

Chapter 11 || For once in so many years ||

Roman's POV

For once in 10 years, I feel like telling someone about the whole thing, the whole incident, where it started.

I trust Claire.

But I can't get myself to do it. I'm a fucking coward.
When I'm about to open my mouth, a tear just falls. I wipe away, and it falls again.

Ah not now.

But the emotions keep on getting stronger, the more I resist, the harder it comes back.

"Hey, it's okay. Don't say anything, it's okay." Claire is trying to sooth me while holding my hand.

For once, I feel understood. Not saying anything is the best thing I can do whenever I'm feeling very emotional.

I swallow the lump in my throat, and open my mouth. My voice is raspy. "I'm sorry, I mean, I shouldn't be telling you all of these, it's only going to make one more person bothered by it..."Before I'm able to continue, the lump in my throat forms again, and it's suffocating.

"Roman, you know what. I'm glad that you tell me, you're brave. To be able to face it and talk about it, you're just great. One step at a time, it's okay." She replies. Her eyes show how much she is in concern, and for once, I believe that people actually care for me.

"You're the first care giver that actually tell me to leave my sister alone, and let her do things on her own. All these while, the other care givers somehow guessed that I'm responsible for Alexa's misfortune, so sometimes I can feel like they're judging me. Although they never said it." I shrug. Then continues,

"I'm born weak, my immune system was always weak, I get sick easily, I have multiple admission in the hospital when I was young. I'm pretty much the most useless person in the house. If anything is going to happen, I should be the one suffering it. At least I believe that. Charlotte is great, she is the big sister that everyone has dreamt about, she's 5 years elder than me, she cares about everything. Me, and Charlotte. She's the one who has been always taking care of me the whole time, whenever I'm sick or some shit, and Alexa would be helping her. Yeah, Alexa did not stuck with the wheelchair since she's born, she was born healthy." I shrug, and my hands start shaking again. Ah, fuck this shit.

"Then here comes Alexa, so much more younger, but the most talented among all of us. She can do everything, anything you can think off, all the typical things, from playing cello to drawing, to studying, to baking, to everything, she's just good at it. But somehow I ruin everything."

I use my hand to cover my nose to prevent myself from sobbing. I ain't gonna looked so weak again, but I already am.

I let out a breath and continue,

"I..."

Funny is, I couldn't gather myself to talk about everything.

"Shh-shh, Roman, slow down. You don't have to tell me everything okay? I'm not going to tell you all the 'don't think about it, it's going to be okay' shit, cuz I know it's not going to be okay for you in either way, so, let's do it this way. Why not we find you something that can keep you busy?" She raises her voice.

"But my business alone is busy." I reply.

"Nah, you need some time for yourself, okay? Business is what keeping you busy, in the way you wanted because you want to be occupied. We need to find something you want, not something you need" She replies.

I look at her, and not sure what to say. But I feel relieved, for once in so many years.

"Come my place this weekend, I mean, since im taking care of Alexa, I can bring her together, we gonna let both you and Alexa enjoy this family gathering that my family is famous with. Either way it's going to be so much more interesting than you and your hectic life. " She shrugs and continues," im not sure if all of you are okay with it, but Alexa has been stucked in the house for so damn long, and only going out when she needs her physio, don't you think it's too unfair for her? So why not, let's try this?"

I look at Claire, and kind of surprise that all my negative thoughts have somehow gone for a few seconds. But all the schedule and workloads come flooding back.

"I need to arrange the time, I can try to make it this weekend I guess." I reply.

"You gonna be amazed." She replies, and somehow get caught up by her own memories.

She told before that she has been missing the family time for quite a while because she's been busying earning money for the family.

Looking at her, I find myself admire her. Well damn, for once in so many years, I'm feeling the butterflies. And even myself can't believe it.

"For fuck sake, I'm doing this." I whisper to myself, and before she reacts,

I pull her head gently and seal my lips on hers.