Creatures Of Habit

Chapter 11

After being discharged from the hospital, I was loaded into the car with a positive bill of health and a weeks worth of prescriptions for pain medications. I may have appeared fine enough to no longer need constant monitoring but I didn't feel fine inside, far from it in fact. I haven't since that night because every time I think about it, I regret not being able to have done more to protect myself. The ride home was silent and a bit tense because I could tell that Phi was just trying to give me space. Even if it was tense, the silence was somewhat calming as I shut my eyes while leaning my head against the window; imagining myself somewhere far away from here.

"Sawyer?" I blinked and noticed that we were in front of our apartment building as I felt Phi put her hand on my thigh to bring me back to reality. 

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair, "Home sweet home." 

"You've been staring into space since I drove back, you feeling okay?" Taking a deep breath, I exhaled and opened my car door, feeling the breeze of fresh air fanning my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just want to get inside so I can take a nap in my own bed." Avoiding her gaze, I didn't want to see what was lurking in her hazel eyes as I grabbed my bag. I didn't wait for her as I went for the door of our apartment building, unlocking the door of our first floor apartment, I heard Phi's footsteps not far behind me.

"Want me to help you?" Stopping, I turn around to give her my best raised eyebrow. 

"Help with climbing into bed? Thanks but I think I can handle it, I'll see you later." Kissing her cheek, I dragged my bag upstairs and into my bedroom. Throwing my bag in the corner, not caring where it landed, I exchanged my jeans and crop top for a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Taking my clothes into my bathroom, I laid them on the sink before turning on the shower head and adjusting the temperature. Once it was to my liking, I turned on my music and undressed.

Stepping under the hot water, my muscles released their tension and I could finally relax while running my hands through my now wet hair. I could feel the knot in the back of my throat forming as I grabbed fist-fulls of my hair suddenly bursting into tears before my legs were no longer being able to support my weight. I tucked them under me as I now laid on the shower floor, hoping that the sounds of the water and my music were drowning out the sounds of my sobs. I cried for not being able to do anything more to help myself, I cried because I was worrying everyone but mostly because I was in pain. 

After a few more sobs wracked my body, they started slowing down, I wiped my eyes the best I could before grabbing my shampoo to wash my hair, getting on with my shower. After I felt clean, I turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing a towel.

Drying myself off, I caught a glimpse of my reflection, I didn't look like the same carefree girl I was before as my eyes held exhaustion instead of that mischievous glint they once did. Turning away, I shuddered and grabbed my t-shirt and sweats before getting dressed and wrapped my hair in the towel. Humming along with the rhythm of the song, it was suddenly interrupted with a call from someone, picking up my phone, I noticed that it was my mom. 

Rolling my eyes, I picked it up with a sigh,"Hey mom," 

"Hey sweetie! You okay? You sound tired." 

"That's because I am, had a long couple of days this week." I said, turning off my bathroom light before going to lay on my bed. 

"Want to talk about it? Did something happen?" Grabbing a pillow, I cuddled it as a sigh escaped my lips. "Sawyer, what happened?" 

"Nothing huge, I swear. Some drunk guy attacked me and gave me a concussion, that's all." Talking about it like that, made it seem like it was no big deal when it was a very big deal.