Just by the Window (COMPLETED)

Chapter 33

It's been three days.

Three days in China.

Sumama nga pala ako kay Amah na pumunta rito sa China. Nagka-taon kasi na umuwi akong umiiyak at siya iyong unang nakita ko sa bahay. She asked me what happened and I told her that Deandrew and I broke up. Hiyang-hiya ako sa mga huling sinabi ko. It shouldn't be like that, though it was right to tell him about what I've been feeling towards his past relationship. But it would be better if I told him about him—not trusting me.

It was really different. Freaking weird. First of all, why did he just called Mary right in front of me? Where did he get the number? Kasi mas masakit malamang sa tatlong buwan naming pagsa-sama ay hindi man lang niya nagawang i-delete sa contacts si Mary. It's not that I'm bitter. Pero bakit parang weird lang sa feeling?

Secondly, hindi niya magawa-gawang magkuwento tungkol kay Mary. If he thinks that it would hurt me, then it's fine. Sobrang naku-curious lang naman ako. Kahit hindi na buo. Kahit simpleng background lang, basta mapapanatag lang ako.

Lastly, he didn't even bother to call me—which is quite strange kasi madalas ay hindi kami inaabot ng tatlong araw na hindi nagpa-pansinan.

Siguro tama rin na sinabi kong goodluck, ano. Maybe I was just a rebound after all. Logan is right. I'm such a naive.

"Shen de." Agad akong napalingon sa gawi kung saan nanggaling ang boses na iyon. There's a guy standing next to me. When I look at his face, may malaki siyang scar sa noo.

"Ni hao," sagot ko naman saka muling binalik ang atensyon sa palubog na araw. Nandito nga pala ako sa hotel na pinagma-may arian daw ng isang Chinay. Maganda nga iyong location kasi nasa tabi ng dagat. Kitang-kita iyong perfect sunset mula dito sa terrace nila.

"Ni shenti hao ma?"

"Wo hai hao," walang ganang sagot ko kahit sinabi ko namang okay lang ako. Ayoko ng kausap.

"Tori?" Tamad kong nilingon si Lola nang marinig ko ang boses niya mula sa likod. "Punta ka lang sa room mo if you want to rest. I have a meeting today."

Tumango lang ako saka muling binalik ang atensyon sa view.

"Pinay ka rin pala."

Gulat kong nilingon iyong lalaki sa tabi ko. "Are you a Filipino?!"

He chuckled. "Mom's half. By the way, I'm Jeric."

"Tori," maikling sagot ko.

"Ang sungit naman."

I took a deep breath and look at him. "I just really want to be alone. Okay?"

"I don't believe that being alone could help. It will just make you even more lonely."

"Do I look lonely?" tanong ko saka iniwas na ang tingin.

"100!" he said then chuckled. "But yeah, you can talk to me. You know, sometimes it's good to talk with strangers."

Hindi ako sumagot pero ramdam kong naka-tingin lang siya sa'kin. I honestly don't want to talk with someone right now. Gusto ko lang talagang mapag-isa para makapag-isip-isip din ako. But at the same, I do believe that talking to strangers can really help.

"Why does emptiness feels so heavy?"

I heard him laughed a little. "Because it's not really empty. If it's empty, it wouldn't be heavy. Feeling empty is experiencing lack of something in your life. It feels heavy because of how it affects you."

I sighed. "This so hard..."

"Part of our lives. You're lucky because you're experiencing something that will help you to grow."