from me to u... (book three - dalton)

chapter thirty-seven: the wall tumbled down (2)

"i can't even begin to tell you how sorry i am." those were the first words tom introduced to the conversation as ariana closed the door to her dressing room. he turned to face her with serious, but gentle and pleading eyes. "i was serious about you. about us. i had a moment of weakness."

"i'm not upset about you and zendaya." ariana said bluntly, heading to the dressing table. as she sat down, she got some cotton pads and coconut oil from her drawers. "we had an open policy, so i can't be upset about that. i am, however, upset that you lied to me by telling me there had been nobody else... and that i was 'it' for you... when clearly, i wasn't."

tom knew he had no defence for what he had done. but he wasn't about to give up. "but you were it for me. i..." tom rubbed both of his hands across his face. "i began to get paranoid over the last two months from worrying that you didn't actually want to be with me..."

"what made you believe that?" ariana said, without looking back at tom. she had gone to work taking out the gems placed around her eyes as they began irritating her skin immensely.

"you're going to think i'm ridiculous for this..." tom began, hanging his head down in a sort of shame. "... but i get really easily jealous, and when i saw you getting close to that fella from one direction and to that camera guy you once couldn't stand... i started to believe u thought i wasn't going to be good enough for you."

ariana couldn't believe what she was hearing. even after all the times of explaining and reassuring him that nothing was going on between any of the men she worked with or were friends with... tom didn't believe her. "it seems you also lied about trusting me."

tom's expression grew grim once those words flew from her lips. never in a million years would he ever have intended for what he said to mean that... but it is exactly how they came across. "no, that's not it! it was never you. you've done nothing to make me lose any of my trust. it's always been me."

"it doesn't matter what the source of mistrust is, tom." ariana stated, fighting back tears. "what matters is that you and i have both lost trust in each other... and it's going to be damn near impossible to get it back."

he didn't want to admit it, but she was right. trust was no longer there. tom lost trust in her because of his own fears of being unworthy and being cast away because of it. ariana lost trust in him because of his blatant dishonesty.

and a relationship is impossible without trust.

"ariana..." a soft voice peered through the closed dressing room door after a light knock. ariana recognized who was on the other side immediately. "are you in there?"

once the door opened, the other side revealed zendaya's tired, worried expression. she entered the room carefull, understanding what was happening once witnessing tom and ariana's  defeated demeanour. "tom ran from the vip area looking for you, and i was trying to follow -

"you were avoiding me for the last little while." ariana interrupted her as she stood from her chair and walked slight towards zendaya - still maintaining a certain amount of distance. "i thought it was something i did... but now everything makes sense."

zendaya could feel the overblown tension between the three of them, which caused her to lower her head. "ari... i wanted to tell you."

"so why didn't you?"

"because i promised him." zendaya's eyes darted straight to tom, who looked like he too had been punched in the gut. "i promised him that i wouldn't say anything."