The Target

It Will Hurt!!

I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't do anything. Everything is closing in on me. Nothing feels right anymore. Yes, none of my friends died. Yes, I didn't have to attend another funeral. But I was reminded of the death of Grace. Grace, my best friend.

I sit on my bathroom floor, door locked. I don't want anyone to interfere. I want to do this. I have to do this. I press the blade slightly on my wrist. I exhale and slide it across my wrist. I take in the feeling. The pain. This is the first time I cut in the last year. Even after everything began, Adam was there to prevent from this happening. But now, even he is always busy with his work. My work is suffering. I think I will be fired soon.

The blood is trickling down my wrist. The feeling is good. I missed it.

I am pulled from my thought when I hear my apartment door open and then close. What? Who is it? I thought, covering my wrist with a towel.

"SHIT!" I almost screamed as I was about to slip on the blood. "Amy? Amy, are you ok? What's going on?" I hear Adam shouting from the other end. "No-nothing. I was about to slip. Will be out there in a second!" "Ok" Adam replied and I heard him walk away. I quickly slid my wrist under the cold water and wiped the floor with a towel. I washed the blade and hid it on my upper shelf. Whew! That was close! I thought.

We are sitting at the dining table. Adam is drinking his wine. I have my juice. I didn't drink since date night. He suddenly puts his hand on my wrist. I bite my lip to prevent from wincing. I just cut there. I thought. Breathe. Breathe. Don't think about it. I try pulling my hands from under his grip. But he is firm. "Amy. I know I have not been around much these days. But you can tell me if anything's bothering you." Adam said. I hummed in response, still biting my lip. If he holds on to it much longer, I am pretty sure the wound will open up again. It's a fresh cut after all. "Are you ok?" He asked. "AM I OK? WHAT THE HELL, ADAM?" I snapped pulling my hand from him. "I LOST GRACE, LEWIS, DYLAN. I GOT A FUCKING FINGER. I HAVE A KILLER TARGETTING ME AND KILLING MY FRIENDS. THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE IS DOING ABOUT IT. I MIGHT JUST LOSE MY JOB... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM FINE?" I can see the fear in Adam when I finished. I look at my wrist. It's swollen. Great. Just... great. I sit back at the table with my head buried in my palms.

Adam wraps his hands around me. I just break down as I cling to his neck. He keeps shushing me, comforting me. But I can't get over the fact that my friends are dead because some killer is after me. Adam is still holding onto me as my breakdown subsides and sleep takes over me.

I wake up an hour later in my bed, Adam beside me. He stayed over. I thought. I checked the time. 18.35! Shit. I had the webinar for the new arrangements at Sheraton. I remembered. I jumped out of bed and logged into my computer. The meeting's over! Five missed calls from Roxy, 3 calls from Mr. Hugh to join the meeting. Just then my phone buzzed. Simon Hugh.

"Hello?... No, I am sorry, sir... There's no excuse, sir... No, please... I understand... Thank you, sir, bye," I cut the call and just stare into my computer. The craving is back. I am pinching around my fresh cut until Adam calls out. "AMY? What is it?" Adam asked with concern. "Um... I got fired." I said flashing a small smile and trying to keep it in control. "Adam. I have to use the bathroom. I'll be back." Adam nodded and I made my way to the bathroom.

I stared at the mirror then at my wrist then back at the mirror. Slowly, I was straining my fresh cut, taking in the pleasure of pain. It's killing me and I feel good.

What am I doing?