The Target

He's back?

Adam hasn't been home in two days. I haven't got out of my bed. I am still working on getting over Macy. My life is truly fucked up.

Our anniversary came and went. I wept as the hours passed by until Christmas ended. I didn't know Adam blamed it all on me. I don't even want to think about it. About him. It's painful. I finally get out of bed. I showered once yesterday. So I make my way to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. As I step into the dining table I hear the front door close. I tense up and grab the closest vase. I take close and careful steps with my neck peeking out. I raise the vase up to my head until I see Adam. I let out a deep breath and ease up. Wait! Adam is home?!

I look at him with guilt. He, on the other hand, is emotionless. I mumble a quiet 'hi' as the silence deepens by the minute. He curves his lips into a smile so small that it's not even there. "I just- uhm, I just came to grab some things. Gonna stay with Harry for some time. I need to clear my head," he says rather coldly. "Adam? Adam, I-I am sorry. Ok? I didn't know you were so mad at me and-and blamed me. I know it's my fault. No one deserved it. Not Lewis. Not Macy. No one. I don't even know why it's happening. I didn't do anything to anyone," I wait to take a breath but before I continue, I see tears in his eyes. "Are-are you crying?" Of course, he is, stupid. I think to myself.

He wipes his eyes with his sleeves and gives out a sniffle. "No. I just... I don't care, Amy. Ok? I have nothing to do with you and I don't wanna keep up with your shit every time you mess up. You fuck up and someone else ends up dead. Not hurt, Amy, DEAD. So, just give me some space. I need to breathe."

I look at him for a few minutes more. Then I run back to my room. I lock it and head for the bathroom. I reach for the upper shelf. The blade is not there. Seconds later, I hear Adam banging at my door. I cover my ears and look around for any other sharp blade or knife or anything.

Shit! Adam hid all of them.

I slide down the wall and open the shower to block out Adam's knocks and occasional banging. I just silently drown in my own darkness and bawl. I get in the shower, dressed, as I hear complete silence and only the sound of the shower hitting the tiles.

I start undressing but as I am about to take off my bra I hear the bedroom door crashing on the ground. What the hell! I thought. Before long Adam is in the bathroom. Of course. Why didn't I lock the door? I mentally face-palm as I stare at Adam standing there.

"Adam! What the hell?" I gasp suddenly and try and cover myself with my hands. I pull a towel from the stand in my bathroom and wrap it around myself. "Show me your wrist!" He says harshly. I comply and his face immediately relaxes. Seriously? He is still worried if I cut. I thought. Adam walks out the door and is greeted with the doorbell. I just continue with my shower. Once I step out of the shower, I see Adam sitting and looking really pale. "What's wrong? Who was at the door?" Adam just points to a box on my nightstand. I immediately know what it is. I still peek to make sure and gag at the sight. Dylan's finger. I thought. I can see Dylan's Batman tattoo, so I know it's his ring finger. Adam dials the police and pulls me away from the sight.

What's surprising is that I didn't cry. I have drained all the emotions from me because what's the point? I am not happy anymore. Adam has gone cold towards me. Harry is just absent. I wonder if even he blames me for Lewis? I am shaken from my trance by a slight nudge on my shoulder. I look up to find the detective standing with a sympathetic smile. "I have to question you. I am sorry but I have-" "Let's go!" I interrupt her. I know she feels sorry for me but I don't need any sympathy now. I just want to drink myself to the apex and just pass out. She is confused but leads the way.

She takes me to my room and hugs me. She is being uncomfortably nice. Like I said before I don't need any more sympathies. I am sorry enough. My pathetic life destroys everything I have to be happy. First Brian, then Grace, Dylan, Lewis, and now Macy.

I yank her back and say, "No. No more pity, Just ask the fucking questions and leave!" She is a little hurt, I can see that. But I don't want new friends who will fall victim to this psychmaniac.

"What happened exactly?"