The First Day

There Is No Helping Me (TW)

I heard my phone go off and realized that I didnt even go to sleep. I heard my Aunt knock on my door "Are you awake" she said whispering. I shifted and sat up "Can I stay home today I'm not feeling that good". She paused for a moment and said " Yea you can but are you going to be okay here by yourself or should I call off work and take you to the doctors" I love my Aunt but I just needed alone time away from all people "no you dont have too I will be okay I think its just a cold" she nodded her head and went to go get Isa ready for school. Before her and Isa left she came in my room one last time and woke me up to tell me that if I needed anything to call her and that she was leaving for work. I hummed and fell back asleep. When I woke up it was 12:00 in the afternoon and I rolled over and checked my phone I had 4 missed calls from an unknown number I looked at the number trying to see if I recognized it from any where I honestly had no clue who it was so I decided to call it back. As I heard the other line ring I was wondering who it was until I heard her voice say ¨Abby?¨ I was confused as to how she got my number but i panicked and hung up it was Ms.Paulson.

I dont know why she was calling me but im sure it was to ask if I was okay and shit like that so i hung up because honestly I was sick and tired of people asking me that and i was sick of giving the answer they all wanted to hear the classic "yea im fine" I ended up having an anxiety attack for no reason and I tried to calm myself down taking deep breaths but nothing seemed to be working. I decided I needed to go get water as I was walking down stairs a car pulled into my drive way it was my Aunt this only made my anxiety attack worse so I tried to run up the stairs but before I could she was already in the door way. As I was breathing heavily and bawling my eyes out she came over to me and bent down to my level because I fell on to the floor. She asked me what was wrong but I could barley breath so nothing was coming out. She started doing breathing exercises with me. Once I finally calmed down she asked again what happened I just shrugged and said "I dont know I just started breathing really heavy and i got really scared" I knew exactly what happened but I didnt want my Aunt to think something was wrong.

I know that shes not going to let me get away with this lame ass excuse so she said "I need you to tell me the truth from now on because one of these times im not going to be able to save you from the darkness in your mind" I just nodded and she hugged me and kissed the top of my head she yelled from the hallway "Im going to call my boss and tell her I need the rest of the day off" I sighed but said okay back. Until it was time for my Aunt to pick up Isa we sat and watched movies on the couch I didnt realize i had fallen asleep until my Aunt woke me up and said she had to go get Isa and wanted know if I wanted to go out to dinner with them I decided I was going to go because I haven't been out of the house a lot recently I think it will help me a little bit so I got in the car and we went and picked up Isa.