The First Day

Im not a child (TW)

I don't know what to do after that conversation I hadn't made a decision but I'm not letting them send me away I'm terrified that I'm not going to have a choice in this matter. I'm not a child they can't just tell me what I have to do I have a choice in the matter. I ended up passing out after crying for hours I got 30 minutes of sleep. I heard my alarm go off and groaned. I heard a knock on my door I whispered in my morning voice. "You can stay home from school i'm staying home today too." As awkward as this is going to be I'm going to stay home I'm tired but what's new. "I nodded my head and went back to sleep
I woke up to the sound of pans clanking I went downstairs to go talk to my aunt and when I got down there I saw she was making soup. I went over to the fridge to grab a water and go back upstairs. "Abby stay down here I'm making you soup" my stomach starting twisting I can't get out of its liquid so I can't put it in a napkin and she's not going to let me leave the table till it's gone. She put the bowl in front of me I looked up at her as tears fell from my eyes. She came over and hugged "Abby I know you don't want to eat and you don't have to eat all of this just eat a little bit and see how you feel I don't want to be seen as the bad guy but I have to take care of you." I nodded my head and brought the spoon to my mouth even smelling it made want to hurl but I took a bite and after that I had zoned out when I look back down half the bowl was gone so I told my aunt I was done. "I have to talk to you about something and I don't want you to be mad at me but this is what's best Ms.Paulson and I were talking and we decided that you should go stay with her for awhile she knows how to handle this and I'm not very good at it." My aunt finished quietly she knew I was going to disagree. No this isn't fair I'm not going to stay with her this is my house and I want to stay here I'm never going to be able to see Isa and all of my stuff is here play I don't really know Ms.Paulson so it's going to be awkward. " I'm not going to stay with her I barley know her and this is my house my stuff is here Isas her my whole life is here" I said with the anger rising to my face. " I know Abby but Im not going to just sit here and let you die you need help no matter how much you deny we all see it". I got up from the table and stormed off into my bedroom this was the being able to live in my house was the only fucking reason I was alive and now I have nothing so I'm done. I give up I'm going to end it tonight just the thought of that makes me the happiest I have ever been.
Time skip three hours
Isas home I got to say my goodbyes I'm leaving this cruel world the only problem was Ms.Paulson was coming for dinner so we can discuss me going to live with her. So I'm going to do it before she gets here. I walk into the bathroom find my moms old pain pills dump all of them in my hand a couple fell on the floor but I didn't really care I almost put them in my mouth until I heard a knock on the door. "Abby are you in there? What are you doing?" It wasn't my aunt it was Ms.Paulson she came to early fuck what do I do. Do I take them now or do I put them away and wait until she goes away. "yea I'm in here I'm just going to the bathroom" I said as my voice is shaking " I'm coming in I don't trust you" Ms. Paulson says as she burst through the door I went to go put the pills in my mouth as fast as I could but before I could she knocked them out of my hand " NO why would you do that my only escape out of the cruel world I hate you so much I'm never going to be in peace now!!" I scream at her I go into a ball on the floor and start sobbing my aunt wanted to know what all the noise was so she came upstairs and saw the scene before her.