The First Day

You're destroying yourself (TW)

"Abby what are you doing" she said when she sat down next to me on the bench I responded with attitude slurring my words "what does it look like I'm doing" Ms.Paulson looked surprised by my attitude " Are you drunk" you just rolled your eyes and got up to walk away. When you stood up you got really dizzy and everything went black. You woke up in your bed with a blistering headache. You were trying to remember the last thing that happened. You remembered that you were sitting in the bench and then Ms.Paulson came up behind you that's the last thing you remember. You walked downstairs and see Ms.Paulson and your Aunt at the table. You tried walking back up stairs but you're Aunt gently grabbed you by your wrist. You tried breaking free from her grasp but she was too strong. You eventually gave in and let her lead you to the kitchen table she sat you down in a chair and said "Why are you not eating" I couldn't tell her the real reason so I just sat in silence I didn't know what to tell her my head hurt so bad and I couldn't get any words out of my mouth. They both just sat there and stared at me waiting for an answer I didn't say anything. My Aunt looked at Ms.Paulson and just shook her head. "Abby you can go upstairs when you can talk" I wasted no time getting out of there but I wanted to hear what they were going to say so I sat at the stairs. Then I heard my Aunt say "what do I do I can't force food down her throat and I can't force her to like food". Ms.Paulson said " I don't know I could have her eat lunch in my room just so I know she's eating if you think that will help. My Aunt agreed and Ms.Paulson have her a hug and left. I heard my Aunt coming up the stairs so I ran to my bedroom and laid on my bed. My Aunt knocked on my door she came in and sat next to me and started rubbing my back. "Abby I don't know what happened when Ms.Paulson showed up at the park and I don't think I want to know but we used to be so close and now you won't talk to me. I saw the cuts on your wrist and I can almost see your ribs please just talk to me Abby" I looked up at her and started crying she picked me up and put me in her lap so my head was laying in her chest. She rubbed my back and spoke soothing words into my ear. I don't remember anything after that because I fell asleep. I woke up to my annoying alarm i lates in bed for a couple minutes thinking about what happened yesterday. I couldn't believe I cried in front of my Aunt. I heard a knock on my door knowing it was her. I said she could come in. " you don't have to go to school if you don't want too" but I knew that if I stayed home she would too so I said I would go to school. I got up got dressed grabbed my back pack and almost made it out the door before I heard my Aunt behind me " I'm not going to make you eat a big breakfast but I need you to sit here until you finish at least an apple" I just sighed and walked over to the fridge grabbed an apple and sat down. I started eating it and I was full after two bites but I'm not trying to make my Aunts life harder so I ate the rest of the apple and left. In the car I smoked a bowl because my stomach hurt because I ate. That made it go away but when I got to school I made it through the front doors and felt like I was going to throw up. So I ran to the bathroom and puked up the apple. I looked at myself in the mirror and was disgusted with what I saw. I saw a fat person who looked like she ate every second of her life. I just broke down in front of the Mirror. When I got myself together a little bit I looked at the time and I was late to English. I wiped my face my eyes were red as hell I don't know if that's from the weed or me throwing up. I got in front of her door and opened it and practically ran to my seat just so she wouldn't look at me.
She continued teaching and handed out the papers the class started doing the work in the middle of my last page she came up to me and said " You're Aunt said she wanted you to eat lunch in here" I wasn't shocked I heard them talking about it last night but I really didn't want to. I just nodded back at her and she walked away. Class ended I walked to my next class I zoned out through most of this class. Lunch came quicker then I would have liked I grabbed a pack of fruit snacks out of my locker and walked to Ms. Paulsons classroom. When I walked I walked to my seat. I set my stuff down and she looked at me like I was the living dead. I probably looked dead I barley get any sleep anymore and when I do it's because I'm high and I haven't eaten in almost a week. I opened my fruit snacks and ate one already wanting to throw up. "Abby is that all your going to eat for lunch" I just nodded I think I lost my voice last night because I have not spoken a word today. She sighed and gave me a sympathetic look I finished my fruit snacks and felt like I was gonna throw up again. "Ms.Paulson can I go to the bathroom" she nodded I walked to the bathroom got into a stall and threw either I had the flu or my body isn't used to having food in it I heard the bathroom door open while I was throwing up. I was finally done I grabbed toilet paper and wiped my mouth flushed the toilet and walked out of the stall. I saw no other then the famous Ms.Paulson. I thought to myself oh shit. "Abby please tell me you didn't not just make yourself throw up" I shook my head no. "Well what happened then" what do I say I could tell her that I have the flu but I don't have a temperature or any other flu symptoms " i don't know I just threw up maybe the fruit snacks were bad". She nodded her head but I could tell she didn't believe me. We walked back to her classroom and the bell rang. So I walked to my next class hoping that never happened again.

I'm really running out of ideas I need help!!!!!!! Sorry if there a lot of spelling errors I wrote this in a rush