The First Day

I cant take it (TW)

I walked downstairs and gave Isa a hug and went over to fridge to get a bottle of water. My Aunt looked at me and said "Do you want breakfast and I also packed your lunch" I didn't want to tell her that I was starving my self so I just simply said "No I don't usually eat breakfast but thank you for packing my lunch" she nodded and I left for school. When I got there I went to my locker and realized my first class was English. I went to the bathroom and thought about skipping class.
I also didn't want to get in trouble though. So I decided I should just go to class. I walked in and sat in the back of the class Ms.Paulson started teaching and I zoned out so I didn't hear any of it. Until I heard my name being called and looked up it was Ms.Paulson " Sorry what did you say I zoned out" I mumbled " I asked if you knew the answer but I'll just ask some one else" thank god I thought I was in deep shit there.
The bell was just about to ring so I packed up all my stuff and then I heard the bell ring and I tried to get out of there as fast as I could until I heard "don't forget Y/N you have detention" I just nodded and walked out. The rest of the day went painfully slow all I wanted to do was go home and lay in bed and not deal with people for the rest of the day. It was the end of the day so I was making my way to Ms.Paulson classroom.
When I walked in I saw her smile and I just sat down and started on my homework. It got really unbearable to sit in the silent classroom and I couldn't sit still I had about 30 minutes before it was over when I finished my homework. She finally said something "Are you okay you seem off and not all there today" I just looked up to her and said " yea I'm fine I just didn't get very much sleep last night" I know she didn't Believe me but I couldn't tell her the truth but she was going to figure it out one way or another. She eyed me and said " I know your not fine why won't you just tell me what's going on with you I care about you and don't want you to have to go through this alone and I know you have unhealthy coping mechanisms and I want to help you but I can't help you unless you let me so please let me." At this point I was just ready to leave I don't like to talk about my feelings and I would rather just suffer in silence " why do you care about me so much I'm nothing special you're a teacher you are supposed to teach us and then forget about us when you go home" I didn't have anything else to say after this luckily I was aloud to go home so I just picked up my book bag and just left. I got in my car and started driving to my favorite place and once I go there I sat by the bridge I had no intentions on jumping off this was just so I could clear my head I reached in my bag and grabbed a cigarette and lit it and let the nicotine fill my lungs while I just watched everyone go by in there cars. Once I was done with my cigarette I got back in my car and drove home. I walked in the door and saw Isa sitting on the floor playing with her toys I heard my Aunt in the kitchen and said "Hey I don't feel good I think I'm just going to go take a nap and don't worry about waking me up for dinner I ate before I came home" she wasn't going to except that apparently because she looked up from what she was doing and said " you can go take a nap but I'm waking you up for dinner because you forgot your lunch here and you didn't eat breakfast and I also known didn't eat dinner because detention end at 4 it's only 4:15 there's no way you could have stopped for dinner" I just nodded and went up to my room I put my stuff down and flipped down on my bed and just broke down I was trying to be quiet so my Aunt couldn't hear me eventually I fell asleep while crying. I didn't get to sleep for long before my Aunt and Isa showed up in my room to wake me up for dinner. I woke up to them shaking me and Isa jumped on me and told me dinner was ready so I nodded and said " I'll be down in a minute" they nodded and left my room. I walked down stairs and could smell the dinner and it made me want to throw up. I sat down at the dinner table and started eating I ate two bites and was full but my Aunt wasn't going to let me leave the table until I was done with my food so I scarfed it down as fast as I could.
Once I was done I put my plate in the sink and started doing the dishes so my Aunt didn't have too. Once I was done with the dishes I told my Aunt that I was going to bed and she nodded. I walked up stairs and went to the bathroom to throw up the food I ate I was disgusted with my self for eating all that food so I went over to the toilet and threw up everything I ate and a lot of acid because I hadn't eaten anything in days. Then I brushed my teeth and walked into my room got changed and laid on my bed for what felt like hours and I looked at my phone and it was already 4am and I can't fall asleep so I'm not just going to ask my Aunt if I can stay joke tomorrow because I don't feel good.

A/n this is a really long chapter and I'm running out of ideas so pls message me if you have any ideas of where the book should go