A Series of Unfortunate Events Book the Fourteenth

Chapter Eight

A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay! Here it is.

There is an expression that everybody you know has used in their life at least once, but those people also said it wrong at least once. This expression is "I couldn't care less" although what would more often be said is "I could care less" when one means to say "I couldn't care less." Regardless, I couldn't care less. Just about everybody has something they couldn't care less about and just about everybody had something they could care less about because everybody values different things. Your mailman, for instance, couldn't care less about what was in the strange large package he was delivering to your house, but could care less about the paycheck he was getting for delivering this package. An opera singer couldn't care less about the words she was saying in her song, but could care less about the low turnout her concerts were receiving. The Baudelaires and the Quagmires couldn't care less about the daisies in Samling, although they probably should have been able to care less. You probably couldn't care less about the expression "I couldn't care less" even though you should, because it's very dangerous to get "I couldn't care less" and "I could care less" mixed up since they are polar opposites.

Now that I have written "couldn't have cared less" about nine times in the last paragraph, I do hope you start to realize that most people really mean to say "I couldn't care less" when they say "I could care less", simply because it is way easier to say "I care" instead of "I could care less."

As the youngsters and Detective Collins made it back to the police station, they could tell that Detective Collins couldn't care less about his job. It is never good to care so little about ones job, because it often means that you will act poorly while working. As the detective droned on and on about his achievements, he sounded bored and not at all interested, and he spoke like it was a requirement. As he talked, they noticed Mayor Platten listening in awe, as if she did not notice.

"There's something strange out him," Duncan whispered to the Baudelaires. "He might not be Count Olaf, but he could very well be disguised."

The youngsters realized this was true. Count Olaf was just one villain who used to be a part of VFD, and there were mentions of several others. Perhaps it was someone they didn't even know, attempting to carry on Olaf's legacy. A legacy, as I'm sure you know, refers to a set of achievements a person has done. In the case of Count Olaf, murder, arson, and putting the Baudelaires in danger were a part of his legacy and they were hardly very good achievements.

"Should we risk asking about Quigley?" asked Violet. "If he is really a noble member of VFD, he's bound to know any updates on his whereabouts."

The youngsters shrugged and turned to look at Hector, who was paying no attention and pointing to the daisies to show Beatrice. Violet took a deep breath and interrupted Detective Collins, which isn't a nice thing to do, but it is necessary in times of desperation. "Mr. Collins, I'm sorry to interrupt-"

"Yes, Violet?"

"We were just worried about our friend," she said carefully. "Quigley Quagmire. You don't know anything about where he is yet, do you?"

Mayor Platten looked alarmed at the question. "I've told you not to worry your little heads about it," she said.

"I know," said Violet. "But sometimes it's impossible not to worry our little heads about it."

Detective Collins waved his hand dismissively. "You shouldn't worry anyway. VFD is working hard to find him right now."

Violet turned back at her siblings and friends and shrugged. "Worry," said Sunny, and they all nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, Mayor Platten excitedly waved as she saw saw a round, brown-haired man with a mustache walk by. This man was very sweaty, very stressed, and obviously very determined to reach wherever he needed to go. Klaus noticed he wore a white lab coat. "Hey! Dr. Perry!"