Paper Hearts (Book Five)

Chapter Eleven (N.H.)

Chapter Eleven

In the low light

Two white shadows become one

Come on, put your moon in my sun

And set me on fire

"Mummy? Where Daddy?" Jemma asked not even twenty minutes after Harry left. She was sitting on the floor next to Jonah who was fast asleep. Audrey was on my lap, playing with the little blocks that A.J. kept handing her. We were all enjoying a quiet relaxing morning as a family.

Well minus Harry of course.

But lately that was starting to become the norm.

"Daddy had to go to town for a little while." I told her, smiling sweetly even though it was forced. A.J. glanced at me for a second, his eyes filled with questions but I knew he wouldn't ask them.

"When Daddy back?" She asked, sighing dramatically before laying down with Jonah. She bumped him a little in the process, causing him to jump a little. She was quick to sooth him though, laying her head down on his stomach as he fell back asleep.

"I don't know princess." I said honestly. Harry did say it would only take an hour, but knowing him he would avoid coming home as long as he possibly could. He was getting good at that.

"Want Daddy." She whined, starting to play with the ends of her hair. It was just barely to her shoulders, but I had put it into a braid for the day.

She was pretty much a mini girl version of Harry.

Jonah was the same way almost.

Except he had my blue eyes.

"He'll be home soon..." I said, but then again I wasn't sure.

"Okay." She sighed, nuzzling into Jonah as she too closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Audrey continued to play with A.J., giggling every time she dropped the block.

"Do you still love Daddy?" A.J. asked quietly, refusing to look at me as he handed Audrey the block again.

"Course I do... what makes you say that?" I asked, not really sure how he got the idea that we didn't.

I personally felt we were doing a good job of pretending we were okay.

He even fooled me into thinking we were for a little while.

"I heard you guys fighting." I didn't know what to say at first.

But I knew I couldn't tell him the truth.

"It was just a small disagreement squirt. Nothing to worry about." I said, giving him a reassuring smile that was faker than the lie.

"Then why aren't you actually smiling Papa?" I tried not to flinch when he called me that.

I missed him calling me mummy...

I was his mummy.

"Everything's going to be fine little bean... Don't you worry." I whispered, still trying my hardest to smile but I was getting nowhere.

I couldn't even believe the lie.

"Okay..." but even A.J. didn't believe me.

This had gotten out of hand.

But I didn't know how to fix it.

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Harry arrived home a little after ten. He walked through the front door, tear steaks on his face and a wild look in his eyes. I was in the kitchen at this point, cleaning up after breakfast and enjoy the few hours of quiet time I had as the kids napped and A.J. did his homework in his room.

"Harry?" I said his name quietly, feeling somewhat concerned for my husband who looked like he'd just killed someone. He let out a chocked sob before walking up to me, slamming his lips against mine with no hesitation whatsoever. I gasped at the suddenness of it all, memories of when we were younger coming back in a flash. He pulled away from me, resting his forehead on mine as he silently cried.

"Harry... What's wrong? You're scaring me..." I said honestly, my fingers wrapping around his wrist. Harry shook his head before letting out another broken sob. He held me close, his arms wrapping around my sides as he tried to get as close as possible. He cried into my shoulder now, his own shoulder shaking as he did so. It wasn't often that Harry cried, he didn't like to... he was scared that it made him seem weak.

He didn't like to be weak.

One of his many flaws...

"Baby... What's wrong?" I whispered, kissing the side of his head as I stroked his head.

"I-I'm so-sorry." Was all he got out. He held me tighter, his grip almost suffocating.

And yet I didn't mind.

It was nice to have this close again.

I missed it.

I missed him.

"Everything's going to be okay Harry..." I whispered, hoping that would help him calm down. It seemed to work a little, his shaking stopping but his grip on me remained tight.

"I-I don't des-deserve y-you. I l-love you so f ucking m-much Niall." He whispered into my neck.

It felt like it had been a while since he last said that and genuinely meant it.

I smiled softly before moving his head away from my neck. I held his face between my hands before kissing him softly.

"I love you too... You're my idiot remember?"

"Yours. Always your idiot." The way he said it, he made it sound like a promise.

And for a second it seemed like everything was going to be okay again.

But even I knew that wasn't going to last long.

It never did.

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So when I woke up this morning I had like 140+ emails due to the last chapter.

You guys flipped shit.

I applaud you.

How do you guys think Niall will react when Harry tells him?

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Connie xx