Paper Hearts (Book Five)

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

I got my feet on the ground

But my head's in the cloud

Can't forget where I come from

I hope your there when I'm done

"Has it been five minutes yet?" I asked Niall for what felt like the millionth time. We were sitting on the bathroom floor later that night after the kids had gone to bed. We had waited all day for this...

I wasn't a patient person.

Goddammit.

"It's been two minutes."

"Two?! You're joking right?" I groaned, throwing my head back as I took a deep breath. Niall let out a nervous laugh as he nodded.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"What... What if I am pregnant again? What are we going to do?" He whispered, clasping his hands together as he looked at me. I sighed as I ran a hand over my face.

"I don't know Ni... I... to be honest with you, I thought we were going to stop after A.J..."

"Seriously?" Niall arched an eyebrow at me, a look of pure disbelief on his face. I chuckled a little as I nodded.

"Seriously. I never saw myself as a parent Niall. I didn't want to have kids, I didn't want to be responsible for a baby... I didn't want to be the reason why the were so screwed up. I didn't want to be like my parents... And because of that I didn't want kids." I shrugged afterwards, not really knowing what else to do. I had never really told anyone about this.

"You never told me that... I always just assumed that you just weren't ready to be a dad." Niall said

"I didn't want to be one. I didn't want to f uck up like my dad did. Don't get me wrong, he was a great person but he wasn't always there for me like a father should've been. He was all I had cause my mum up and left when I was eight... I just never had that perfect family that everyone talked about. Even when my sister was alive, my parents hated each other." I trailed off, biting my bottom lip. Niall took that moment to sit next to me, placing his head on my shoulder as he gave me a soft smile.

"I always told myself that I wouldn't be like them. I didn't... I didn't ever want the chance for me to be like them, that's why when you told me about A.J. I freaked out. It was terrifying just thinking about it... I resented him before he was even born cause I thought... I thought that of we had kids that I would eventually lose you. You wouldn't want to be with me because I wasn't a good dad or husband.... and I couldn't go through that." I could feel tears pricking at my eyes, but I refused to cry at this moment.

"When you left after he was born... I blamed myself for it. I... I thought you hated me because I didn't want him in the beginning... and it was really hard to accept the fact you weren't going to come back. When you eventually did though, I still felt like it was my fault. I didn't want to lose you again... and I didn't want to lose A.J. either. It took me over a year to realize you weren't going to leave me... but even after that I was scared to death if I f ucked up you would pack up and leave again." I took a shaky breath, finding it a lot harder to stay calm right now. Niall kissed my cheek softly though, giving me a reassuring smile.

"When... When I asked you if you wanted another one... Did you actually want another one?" He asked quietly.

"Kind of... I missed having a baby around, but at the same time I felt like A.J. was all we needed... I'm glad that we had the twins and I'm glad that we had Audrey... I just... I feel like I'm not a good dad Niall. I feel like I'm not a good husband. I feel this intense need to be so f ucking perfect and it's killing me... I hate it... and in turn I started to hate you and the kids... I blamed you guys for the reason why I couldn't do anything right... and eventually I fulfilled my own goddamn prophecy and f ucked up. Now I've got this psychotic asshole following me around and... and I'm afraid you're gonna leave again." And I finally let it go, the tears I had been holding back fell down my cheeks. I took in a deep breath, closing my eyes as I tried to stay calm but it wasn't working too great.

But then Niall grabbed my hand, his fingers interlocking with mine.

"Perfect families are overrated... trust me." Niall whispered, playing with my fingers.

"What?"

"You said you were always jealous of those perfect families and well... they're overrated. No ones perfect Harry, we've all got our flaws that make us different... but they make us... us. Personally, I think you're a great dad. You do anything to make sure the kids are always smiling... you're their hero... and they love you... I love you. Sure things are shit right now... but we make mistakes. We learn... and I've learned that by being with you I'm gonna have to pretty much accept every little flaw you have... but that's because you're willing to accept mine. We aren't perfect, but we are us... that's all that matters." He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze as I gave him a smile.

"How did I get so lucky?"

"You puked on my shoes."

"Those were the days..."

"Idiot."

"Your idiot." I whispered, kissing him softly.

"The test should be done by now..." Niall said, moving away from me. He stood up from the floor before grabbing the test off the counter.

"So?" I asked nervously, biting at my lip again. Niall smiled at me before showing me the test.

"I'm pregnant." He whispered, a choked sob escaping his lips.

"You're pregnant." I whispered back, letting it sink in slowly. When it did I pulled him into my arms, lifting up off the ground as I hugged him tightly. He rested his face in my neck, holding on just as tightly.

"I love you Harry... So f ucking much. My idiot."

"Your idiot. I'm always going to be your idiot."

----------------------------------

Well, there we have it folks.

Narry baby number five is on the way.

Yes. It's an excessive amount.

Yes. I'm well aware.

No. I'm not done with the character ask.

Harry finally opened up to Niall. A round of applause for that.

Double update cause I love you guys.

Comment

And

Vote

Connie xx